tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8051208738186919582024-03-13T17:39:59.148-05:00I Sound Like My MotherThis is my blog about being a LONG TIME stay at home mommy and what I learned, being a working mommy and making time for family and friends, being a wife, being a friend, and pretty much just about me being me sounding like my mother!Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.comBlogger527125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-82678759017803941942012-04-07T17:08:00.000-05:002012-04-07T17:08:06.632-05:00Instagram For AndroidYEAH BABY!!! Instagram finally became available for Android users (like myself) so therefore, I have been going Instagram CRAZY the past few days. <br />
<br />
It's a southern thing: Sweet Tea (everyday)<br />
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Took lil man to the park a few days ago and this is what we got to see:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hanging out at the park....literally: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/561914_3675899536780_1253704475_33495407_1696965250_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/561914_3675899536780_1253704475_33495407_1696965250_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Visiting the Easter Bunny at the local Bass Pro Shops:<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-52651180898449761242012-04-02T20:26:00.000-05:002012-04-02T20:26:50.543-05:00Ranch Parsley BurgerI was browsing Pinterest for a new hamburger recipe and found a few that looked good but kind of put my own together. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9P6E1i0K5GTEKebmjPoIiSbV-GBzUKEfVLR3Q4tP-rUA8sLGAJ1yXAAt2VDwXpaK6WfzxCbSDUx0pmi5Y8dZJoXzTJG_aQiaFbZYKRUWba10eOSIFwrfPOP5mDDIxr5I_rJPgntjdcyeA/s1600/IMG_8077.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9P6E1i0K5GTEKebmjPoIiSbV-GBzUKEfVLR3Q4tP-rUA8sLGAJ1yXAAt2VDwXpaK6WfzxCbSDUx0pmi5Y8dZJoXzTJG_aQiaFbZYKRUWba10eOSIFwrfPOP5mDDIxr5I_rJPgntjdcyeA/s640/IMG_8077.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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Ingredients:<br />
<br />
*1 lb ground beef<br />
* 1/2 tsp garlic powder<br />
* 1/2 tsp onion powder<br />
* 1/2 tsp parsley<br />
* a sprinkle of pepper<br />
* 1/4 cup Ranch Dressing<br />
* 1/2 tsp Season Salt<br />
* slices of cheese<br />
* hamburger buns<br />
<br />
Directions:<br />
<br />
1. Mix all the ingredients with the ground beef in a bowl. (Get dirty, use your hands!)<br />
2. Let it sit for about 30 minutes to soak in the flavors.<br />
3. Heat the pan and at the same toast your buns.<br />
4. Put buns aside while you make burger patties out of your beef mixture.<br />
5. Put patties in the pan and cook on high heat. Let the burgers cook on each side about 5 minutes or until no longer pink and only flip ONCE!!! (I know, hard to do but do it!)<br />
6. After you flip your burger to cook the other side, wait for a few minutes before putting your slice of cheese onto your burger and let it melt.<br />
7. When burger is cooked how you like it, put it on your bun and add any and all condiments you want.<br />
<br />
ENJOY!!!<br />
<br />
*for those that use pinterest, feel free to pin this!!!*<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-60096773200731466612012-04-02T20:09:00.000-05:002012-04-02T20:09:39.971-05:00Dying Easter EggsWith the way things have been happening lately, I wasn't sure how my Easter weekend was going to be looking. If I was going to have my son or not. Therefore, Saturday evening, I decided to boil some eggs in prep to dye some eggs Sunday, April 1st. No, not an April Fool's joke. <br />
I found out my brother and his friends were coming over that day as well so it was a great day to dye eggs, so he could see his nephew color eggs. <br />
We used some very old mugs and, instead of typical Easter egg dye, we used Kool Aid. Yes, you can find out how <a href="http://www.heyjenrenee.com/2011/04/kool-eggs.html">here (click this link)</a>. <br />
<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/526278_3650535742701_1253704475_33485896_1650558093_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/526278_3650535742701_1253704475_33485896_1650558093_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-78770259981931293152012-03-17T20:20:00.000-05:002012-03-27T20:25:52.282-05:00Happy St Patrick's DayWe all wore green today so no one got pinched! I take that back, lil dude pinched us a few times so we pinched him back. <br />
We got some photos of us at the park in our green so that is a plus. <br />
I was also able to shoot a preemie session in the NICU of Presby Plano for Preemie Prints.<br />
<br />
Here are the photos with us in our green and just a few from the Preemie Prints session.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/432182_10150673673979795_170105314794_9216817_645989069_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/432182_10150673673979795_170105314794_9216817_645989069_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-52911112946183266422012-03-15T16:57:00.000-05:002012-03-15T16:57:47.885-05:00Is This What Closure Feels Like?Closure. Simple word, seven letters, noun loosely meaning “an ending”. But by far, the concept of closure is extraordinarily difficult to achieve. Why is this so tough to do? What makes closure such a difficult concept? "It's not you, it's me" is the typical closure sentence. <br />
That wasn't what I got out of my relationship. I got a simple "when you finally get over me, you won't care how many girls I am around or what girls I am hanging out with!" Wow, talk about harsh. <br />
A woman can handle many things, but the one thing she won’t deal with is her time being wasted. I think after a few days and being around my ex husband a few more times with his girlfriend and girl friends, I have realized that is all I ever did. Waste my time....waste it with him. After realizing that I don't think he ever truly appreciated me and all I did for him, I became numb. Not that tingly just-hit-funny bone numb or foot-is-asleep numb because then at least I would feel something. I feel nothing. Hatred---I wish! I have so much I could hate him for but I don't. Angry---not anymore. Why be angry over something I can't fix? Annoyed---a tad only because of his immaturity lately as well as disrespect. Hurt---not anymore. At least I don't think so. I think he hurt me for so long and hurt me so bad that I no longer feel hurt. I also believe, because of the hurt I have been through, I have built a wall so high around my heart so it won't get broken again. I am trying to put it back together. It is like a house of cards. You get the base built and someone bumps the table or a breeze comes by and knocks it down; I don't want that to happen to my heart. <br />
So, I ask, is this what closure feels like? No longer having any emotion or feeling tied to the one that left you and broke your heart?<br />
I am trying to move on and live my life like it never happened but in all honesty, I can't get the past 8 years back. I just have to make up for them, and it all starts with this: <br />
<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-62343137537910053242012-03-09T13:15:00.000-06:002012-03-09T13:15:41.167-06:00Forget About ItThe cursor is blinking at me. Is it blinking or winking? Telling me to type something or telling me that I already know what I want to type but just having a hard time finding the right words?? Songs and quotes fill my head this windy yet chilly afternoon along with a head cold and sinus infection. <br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iWQdmSpSItM" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
<i>But I can’t be whole,<br />
'til I let all this anger go,<br />
The silent strain I’ve carried long enough.<br />
<br />
And I can’t be with you,<br />
I don’t even want to,<br />
I just wish your ghosts were gone,<br />
Cause I’m ready to love,<br />
I’ve been guarded long enough.</i><br />
<br />
For years, I have dealt with pain in many relationships. My high school sweetheart, who at the time I thought I would marry and grow old with, left me for his ex girlfriend and ended up marrying her. They are now divorced but inside, I still carry that hurt and that pain. Now that I am divorced, I still can't bring myself to forgive nor forget how it all went down. They say forgiving is easier than forgetting but to be honest neither of them are easy. I guess I just need to forgive myself for putting myself in those situations and move on before even thinking about forgiving them for hurting me. <br />
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<i>But don't you remember? Don't you remember?<br />
The reason you loved me before<br />
Baby, please remember me once more.</i><br />
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Why can't real love be similar to that in movies? The man realizes he loves the woman and waits until she is leaving town or has left to go chasing after her. He leaves her in tears at his speech of how much in love with her he is and how he can't live one more second without her even though at times she gets under his skin and sometimes annoys the hell out of him. Yet, the way she squishes her nose at the smell of the rain is cute and he adores that. The way she says something yet is confused by what she just says makes him laugh and he loves her sense of humor. That would make love and relationships all too easy, huh?! <br />
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Even though it is fiction and the fantasy of the writer, this is what true love is. No age, religion, ethnicity, etc is an issue. Just the bond they share between them! That is true love and to have something like that is healing, strong, everlasting, spiritual and romantic. <br />
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Yet again, my cursor blinks at me. Blinking or winking? Blinking because I have come to the end of this blog as I have nothing more to write or winking because it knows I have more to write yet just can't find the write words to put down on this screen? <br />
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In the end, they all say time heals and makes things easier. I am trying to surround myself with people that make me laugh, people that make me think and people that make me forget the past and look more towards the future. I am lucky to have such people in my life and I am not sure where I would be in life now if it weren't for them. <br />
<br />
Life may not be going accordingly right at this moment but I think about how unhappy I was for 8 years and how happy I am now that I am not in that situation any longer. <br />
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<i>It may seem as the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget about the guy who forgot about you. -The Notebook</i><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-18492530265314863012012-03-08T22:50:00.001-06:002012-03-08T22:50:57.865-06:00Spring Break Is Upon Us....Yet Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>It is that time of the year again when all your kiddies are out of school and you are stuck with them for an entire week. You know they will wake up at the butt crack of dawn, want to play video games, watch tv all day and eat EVERYTHING in your pantry and fridge. So, how do you get them outside and off their butts? Thank goodness for Pinterest. If you haven't, yet, found this glorious hole on the internet, you are seriously behind. That is like not having a Facebook. C'mon, it is 2012, get with the program!<br />
Thank goodness my child is 5 and still loves to play outside. Yes, give him Call of Duty and he will be on that game like a fly stuck on fly paper, but I have mommy powers of getting him to go outside. Not really, I just turn off the tv or tell him he will be stuck in his room with NOTHING else to do all day if he wants to whine about it.<br />
So, my plans for this Spring Break is to make a fort in the living room, watch some Disney movies while eating BUTTERY popcorn, playing at the park EVERY DAY (if this bipolar Texas weather takes it's meds) and maybe I can get lil man's daddy to let him bring his scooter so he can ride on that as well. Also, play with his army/medieval men, have a NERF war (after getting batteries for the other gun), cooking plenty of dinners, coloring, maybe visiting Nana and Papa as well as Uncle and then who knows what else. We may just lounge in our pajamas and eat junk food all week. Sounds good to me.<br />
I may even bribe him into letting me take some more photos of him...ya right...in a million years would he let me do that.<br />
So, what do you plan on doing with your children or making your children do while they are out of school?<br />
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I leave you with random photos from Spring Breaks years before.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQB-W2yu14oTUhhjqAk5jB60d5bxqgS2BXCBqGsH7UTqJJgs2vjS7GBGcz7eDmHzQ0iVVrQHDhoZhRurn2tqZlGFzc-l6oM0WSxCVuMJSGtU0ILCvq7RBjGIEGJ3r0FcPMLWCxHXGjvMj/s1600/teresa+at+indian+reservation+220.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQB-W2yu14oTUhhjqAk5jB60d5bxqgS2BXCBqGsH7UTqJJgs2vjS7GBGcz7eDmHzQ0iVVrQHDhoZhRurn2tqZlGFzc-l6oM0WSxCVuMJSGtU0ILCvq7RBjGIEGJ3r0FcPMLWCxHXGjvMj/s640/teresa+at+indian+reservation+220.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Visiting Tennessee in March of 2004</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvcFprl5omJcWg5qCisXtqRydZWHjxgdFBwuj2lAxBOo-srNQxvEPEsejvvOModCaxZU4uMYOkCt-mU_O7txG4oJA-SRtrMUxklXKkECuhH5O1XRiOsX5k1y2qxcEAwE7xejg6-x0rTGXd/s1600/Trip+to+Florida+AmTs+060.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvcFprl5omJcWg5qCisXtqRydZWHjxgdFBwuj2lAxBOo-srNQxvEPEsejvvOModCaxZU4uMYOkCt-mU_O7txG4oJA-SRtrMUxklXKkECuhH5O1XRiOsX5k1y2qxcEAwE7xejg6-x0rTGXd/s640/Trip+to+Florida+AmTs+060.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Laying on the sandy beaches of Panama City, Florida for the first time on Spring Break in 2004.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgos3_eowM65gerTFQZzq3ggBXqBK3bWl95lBumhtZYLnSddB77aAcejj28_k1qyftOmFxESPgx-Q4aCIyGOVBEt-9-dxk6Sd7-LiBAkYr5b6xBBNMlwSPvLD-4_KdVIDiPF3LRJIeCVDG0/s1600/P3170045.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgos3_eowM65gerTFQZzq3ggBXqBK3bWl95lBumhtZYLnSddB77aAcejj28_k1qyftOmFxESPgx-Q4aCIyGOVBEt-9-dxk6Sd7-LiBAkYr5b6xBBNMlwSPvLD-4_KdVIDiPF3LRJIeCVDG0/s640/P3170045.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My older sister (furthest right) came to visit Spring Break of 2007 and we all did a get together and of course we are all our own goof balls!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIs-beVx43g36Bo7OGlkpGGI6YiNQ2H4zmkfOlDdFFoaOtQ30Fi-4cVcLA53e3z3sA4s3E9nJEa6_5H50QHvG7Pa4kkcPwSGUUHKGu0nuqSf4pscUgaLgfBMmqEDAjR7rtdXRk0F1HDgXk/s1600/_PAS4752.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIs-beVx43g36Bo7OGlkpGGI6YiNQ2H4zmkfOlDdFFoaOtQ30Fi-4cVcLA53e3z3sA4s3E9nJEa6_5H50QHvG7Pa4kkcPwSGUUHKGu0nuqSf4pscUgaLgfBMmqEDAjR7rtdXRk0F1HDgXk/s640/_PAS4752.JPG" width="430" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Around this time in 2009, I got a tattoo on my foot. Not planning on getting one this Spring Break but you can bet if I had the money for one, I totally would! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWe1vT_wMm1pkcMT5OWUvEoXoCYU6L8DbDQO71D3yuYsJ59uT1Cxr0zqlUC9TPaHAfoUHc2_uvmhdhjHh-j5HtSPP0_vRLKf7AMTghwpwh1ub1h8L5OPdk3OAAkj85AYb4V1sWMbAcHooQ/s1600/Image024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWe1vT_wMm1pkcMT5OWUvEoXoCYU6L8DbDQO71D3yuYsJ59uT1Cxr0zqlUC9TPaHAfoUHc2_uvmhdhjHh-j5HtSPP0_vRLKf7AMTghwpwh1ub1h8L5OPdk3OAAkj85AYb4V1sWMbAcHooQ/s640/Image024.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goes to show Texas is bipolar. Here it snowed in 2010 around Spring Break.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Ga438O2lFdBA3VIDvbgeCRtIRb6lEIDW8F7IGol26_3Gmd0T__67KFH08fUyqbo1K96Rbm6RsxOeSLsTggNcHL5PBxVoODJZ4YeuPguYACw_44hB3yPeZCk2_qxoSegISKvsjeuOfFDb/s1600/IMG03171.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Ga438O2lFdBA3VIDvbgeCRtIRb6lEIDW8F7IGol26_3Gmd0T__67KFH08fUyqbo1K96Rbm6RsxOeSLsTggNcHL5PBxVoODJZ4YeuPguYACw_44hB3yPeZCk2_qxoSegISKvsjeuOfFDb/s640/IMG03171.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And last year, 2011, I was getting dental work done to remove my wisdom teeth. My lil man was right there keeping me company while I was healing. </td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-59986135023947405972012-02-27T14:29:00.000-06:002012-02-27T14:29:01.009-06:00Update: PhotosI haven't shared any photos recently so this blog post is just to update you all on photos!!!<br />
<br />
I recently took photos of my 5 year old and here are the results. Now, I will tell you something. As a mother to only one child, I still say he JUST turned 5 but many will argue he is about 5 1/2 and he will argue he is 6. So, remember, do not argue with mama because mama will always say "YOU JUST TURNED 5!!!"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/421518_10150623227534795_170105314794_9049104_1250371233_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/421518_10150623227534795_170105314794_9049104_1250371233_n.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Last weekend when I had my son, he had his first dental check up. I was so proud of him. At first he was like the fish that knew all too well and would not open his mouth but after a few minutes and bribing and pleading, he opened up and did soooooo very well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/401323_3374890651746_1253704475_33350483_1226730811_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/401323_3374890651746_1253704475_33350483_1226730811_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/425240_3374889011705_1253704475_33350479_441867738_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/425240_3374889011705_1253704475_33350479_441867738_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This past weekend I had him, I didn't truly think I was going to make it out of it alive. He had a very bad temperment to him as well as an attitude. I guess that is to be expected when having to live in 2 different houses at the age of 5. BUT, because the weather was so nice, I took him out of the apartment and to the park nearby as well as the obstacle course which he had a blast on. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/421990_3409659000933_1253704475_33367597_168320158_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="578" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/421990_3409659000933_1253704475_33367597_168320158_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/418440_3409662481020_1253704475_33367601_826198959_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="518" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/418440_3409662481020_1253704475_33367601_826198959_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/416781_3409667241139_1253704475_33367609_1661984724_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/416781_3409667241139_1253704475_33367609_1661984724_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px !important; border-color: initial !important; border-image: initial !important; border-left-width: 0px !important; border-right-width: 0px !important; border-style: initial !important; border-top-width: 0px !important;" /></a></div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-20570088109770824332012-02-25T12:23:00.000-06:002012-02-25T12:23:27.737-06:00Friday From HellI've had many a bad Friday but I think yesterday has to be the worst Friday yet, at least since moving out on my own and the divorce. A few weeks back, I received a ticket (because obviously the officer had nothing better to do) for an out of date inspection sticker on the truck my ex husband is letting me drive until he either he a) fixes my car or b) tows it to my parents for someone else to fix. The officer told me to get it inspected by the 28 of February and then take the proof of inspection up to the court house by that date and get it dismissed for only $20. <br />
Therefore, I was going to have ex hubs get it inspected last week but apparently he was low on funds. I fought and argued the point but decided it was like yelling at a wall so we agreed yesterday was THE last day it could get done. Well, in the end the truck didn't get inspected. The check engine light was on so ex hubs disconnected the battery for about 5 minutes. That didn't turn the light off. He then disconnected it for about 10 minutes, maybe 15 and that still didn't work. THEN we took it back to his house where he got his code reader and erased the codes. That did the trick. Well, because the battery was disconnected, the O2 reader or whatever wasn't reading and the inspection guy told me I had to put some miles back on the truck before getting it re-inspected. So ex hubs was kind enough to give me $40 for inspection and told me to find a place to get it done before Monday....if they check engine light doesn't come back on. <br />
I called the court house to see if they could extend the date and they said I could make a court date to talk to judge/prosecuter to see if he/she will lower the fine. I asked why I would have to have fine lowered and found out that because the inspection has been out for more than 60 days (been expired since July), I cannot pay the $20 dismissal fee. I have to pay the $151 fine to get rid of the ticket. I can't even take defensive driving to remove the citation/ticket. <br />
On top of all that, I found out that my last pay check from the shoe company I was working for, didn't direct deposit my check and ex hubs had the check in his mail box for at least 2 weeks now. Give it, it is only about 6 hours worth of pay but that is better than nothing. Therefore, with that deposited, I only have about $55 in my name until I find a job. I have rent and bills and other things to pay and I am not having a great life after divorce. Single life is becoming harder and harder than I thought. <br />
I thought I would be much happier and in the aspect of not having someone yell me at, degrade me, insult me or controlling me, I am much happier but financially wise, this sucks. <br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-4827182500375822832012-02-23T13:57:00.000-06:002012-02-23T13:57:25.436-06:00Skele-ToesWhat the heck are Skele-Toes, you ask? Fila Skeletoes are the new hot barefoot running shoes to hit the market. Not like I run but I guess I could start. I first heard of these silly looking duds on my best friend's Facebook page and was wondering what they were. After getting her a pair of toe socks to go with the toe shoes, I had a package arrive at my doorstep today. To my surprise and excitement, my best friend sent me some Skele-toe shoes as well. <br />
I have to admit they are a bit goofy looking. You have to concentrate on where your toes go just like a pair of gloves and the material feels strange between your toes. BUT, I will also admit they are quite comfy. <br />
So my adventures with Skele-toes starts today. <br />
My first stop: my 3 story balcony to enjoy the spring like weather.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/404867_3397156448377_1253704475_33361112_534643030_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/404867_3397156448377_1253704475_33361112_534643030_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-54517076073994655832012-02-21T16:56:00.000-06:002012-02-21T16:56:02.538-06:00You Can't Change ThemYou can only change yourself. Over the past 2 weeks, I have had time to reflect on my divorce and my life before divorce. Many words were said that cannot be taken back. Many questions were asked and not many answers were given. <br />
If you are treated unfairly or "like crap" (as many refer to it), then why do you still care about the person or what they are doing in their life? Not an easy question to answer, is it?<br />
I was given the opportunity to give some advice to a friend of mine this past weekend...okay I more or less just gave them the advice without them asking for it but it seemed fitting at the time. <br />
At times, in the past 8 years, I was treated like a child, a slave at others and a nanny at most. I wanted to be treated for who I was. A girl who loves being goofy, having fun, being spontaneous and just lounging around being lazy. That is who I am. Yes, I like to clean but it makes me feel dirty when everything else is dirty. I love being around my son but I do not want to feel like I am babysitting him because the other parent has other things on their agenda. <br />
The answer to the question "why do you still care" is definitely not an easy one to answer, especially to the person's face. The reason I care is because I love him. I loved my ex husband when we first met, I loved him when I moved in with him and I loved him through all the fights, the drama and the almost-3 or 4-divorces. I loved him because not only was....is he the father of my child but because he stood by my side through a lot of drama and turmoil in my life. He showed me who I really was in life and who I truly wanted to be with. <br />
I love him because, to me, that is the norm. I am not used to going on dates. I am not used to saying "I love you" to any other guy. I am not used to holding hand with anyone but my son and my ex husband. And I sure as heck aren't used to sleeping or cuddling with any other guy. Time will change that, I know it will. <br />
Change sucks but it brings new things in life. It brings out your true dreams, goals, aspirations as well personality and thoughts. <br />
I will not say that I took my ex husband for granted nor ever appreciated him because I appreciated every little thing he did for me. I may have hated holding that flashlight while he worked under the hood of the car or on a boat engine but I watched him intently and learned some things. I may have hated to hold that ladder while he was changing a light bulb or putting up Christmas lights but it gave me a chance to look at his butt! What girl (or guy) doesn't like to do that with their significant other? I may have hated him sleeping in all those years before he went to work or on his days off but to me that gave me time to think and time to work and time to clean and definitely time NOT to fight and argue. I never truly card to get flowers on holidays, birthdays or just random occasions but to him that was his way of showing me he loved me. He may have gotten me just plain ol' gift cards and to me I may have thought that meant he didn't put any thought into getting me anything but really, he did....he thought that if he got me a gift card I could spend it on myself and get myself WHATEVER I wanted. <br />
I may have hated him leaving his socks around the house, the dishes ABOVE the dishwasher or in the sink, his baseball caps laying all over the house and other little things he did but those were his quirks. I wake up and I don't see socks under the coffee table, hats on the couch, and dishes are IN the dishwasher or washed on a towel on the counter tops. I go about my day and I don't see or rarely talk to him or see any photos of him. <br />
I am in a new life and sometimes it really hurts. It, in a way, makes me really miss him. Again, because that was the norm for me for 8 years. Now that he is gone, I see all this. I actually saw it all before and was, in my mind, wishing he would change because all that stuff annoyed me. BUT, that was...is who he is. <br />
I say all this because no matter how annoying someone may be, that is who they are. Annoyances are just that....annoyances. Little quirks that make a person who they are. You don't fall in love with someone because of their looks or their personality. Those are just SOME of the reasons you fall in love. But if you were to think about it, how would you feel if one day you woke up and the person who annoyed the crap out of you for almost a decade was gone? Those annoying habits they did were gone? <br />
Do not take things people do for granted. Appreciate all the little...or big things they do and thank them for everything they do...even annoying you...because when they are gone, you too will see all that I have been seeing and you will miss that person like crazy and get upset at whoever they are now with because you will feel only YOU should be the one to be annoyed by them. <br />
No matter what you do, you cannot change a person. You can only change who you are. <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-32811221208016711082012-02-13T16:15:00.000-06:002012-02-13T16:15:35.039-06:00Looking Back - - - Moving ForwardLooking back on life and moving on at the same time<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">(Thank you <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a> for these wonderful quotes!)</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-90029382094193162572012-02-13T13:48:00.000-06:002012-02-13T13:48:32.192-06:00Why Hide The Truth?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Lies. Everyone lies. We are all human. We make that mistake. Sometimes we lie so we don't hurt someone we care or love about deeply. Other times we lie so we don't get caught or get in trouble. Which are you? Both? It is okay if you are both because, again, we are all human. I can admit to my lies and my mistakes and in my marriage, there were several lies and several mistakes. It is a marriage! I was also lied to many times and still to this day I am being lied to.<br />
The marriage is over. The divorce is final. Why lie? Why hide the truth?<br />
I am told by my ex-husband (that will take a while to remember to type out because he was my husband for 6 years), "I do not have to explain myself to you nor do I need to inform you of my love life." I am not asking him to explain himself nor tell me about his love life. The thing is, when one person tells the other they are not in love with them and haven't been for a while. As well as "I will not date anyone for at least a year after the divorce" and "I will never in my life get married ever again." and is dating someone at least one month before the divorce is final...they have seemed to move on pretty quickly. Therefore sending me a message that he was never in love with me and has no problem moving on. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">To me, that hurts. That should hurt anyone. You were with the person for 8 years (ALMOST a decade) of your life and they turn around and move to the next before everything is finalized or over between you two. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have been asked by many lately "are you still in love with him?" To be honest (since that is what the blog post is about), no I am not. I still love him because I loved him for 8 years. I still care about what happens to him because that is just low and immature to say "oh well, we are no longer together, hope you get run over by a bus". Now give it, those words may run through my mind occasionally but I would not know what to do if something happened to my son's father. I am not in love with him though. I cannot be in love with someone who will not be up front and honest with me. When I ask a question, all I am asking for is a simple answer --- THE TRUTH. No, the truth isn't always an easy thing to say especially if you don't want to hurt the person's feelings or do not want to be "in trouble" with the person. BUT, it is a weight lifted off your shoulders when you do tell the truth.<br />
My ex-husband gets irritated/annoyed when I call or email him and I am not happy....to say the least being a bitch. Well, that happened last night because I got a phone call and a voice mail that changed my mind set about a lot of things. I wanted to talk to him about it. He sent me a text this morning asking if I "was better". What the heck does that mean? No, I am not sick. No, I am not dying. No, I do not have cancer. So, how am I better? I asked and he said "well I was just seeing if you were okay. You were really upset last night." And dear ex husband of mine, do you know the reason I was upset? "Because of the lies," he stated. BINGO!!! Right on the nose. I straight up told him, if he were to be honest with me then I would not be upset nor would I be calling him bitching about stuff.<br />
We are no longer married. Why hide anything? Why lie? It makes no sense....not just to me but to others who know the situation or are involved in the situation as well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, the point of this is, the truth is not always easy to come out with but in the end, it will make you feel better as well as make the other happy that you are no longer lying to them. </div><br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-14715623962879242782012-01-27T10:53:00.000-06:002012-01-27T10:53:10.051-06:00Unsure Of MyselfI thought, lately, my life was heading down the right path. I have a decent part time job...yes hours suck as it is only on the weekends which gives me NOTHING to do during the week to fill that void but I can't complain really as most would complain they are working too much. Guess the only real complaint would be that I am not making enough money to scrape by as a divorced mother. (well not divorced yet, but that is another topic). I also was about to get an apartment that I can share with my lil man and give him some stability in these rocky confusing times (for him). <br />
I went to bed sick to my stomach and woke up with a headache bigger than the Mt Rushmore carvings. I think stress is creeping up on me again and I do not like it. <br />
I also do not like thinking I am something to turn out to be nothing. I understand guys (and some gals) will look at porn here and there as that is a very natural thing to do. What I don't understand is why do they do it when they KNOW they have something better and prettier and less fake than all that?? Want more adventures in the bedroom?? Fine, just ask and maybe do some research together. Want more role play? Fine, just ask and go buy some costumes! Want something other than the norm? It is not that hard to ask a person. I understand if you are shy about it but your partner will never know unless you ask them. I was with a man for going on 8 years who I call a porn/sex addict. He was always at strip clubs, watching porn dvds, porn online, looking at pictures on the computer and saving them to his desktop or phone as well as even ordering the Playboy channel on cable tv. It is a no wonder our sex life was barely there. I felt I couldn't compare to those girls nor what they could "provide" in the bedroom. I felt I was no longer attractive and that is why he was doing that. At one point, during the peak of our sex life, he told me he was going to strip clubs because he wasn't getting enough sex. So watching girls dance naked/half naked around a pole to techno music gives you that satisfied feeling that you just had sex? Sure, makes a lot of sense....not sure why I never saw that before *sarcasm* Therefore, I do not want to be with anyone who is going to be like that. I already have self esteem issues let alone adding that on top of it just makes it worse. <br />
So I ask myself just how pretty are you? How confident are you? How attractive do you seem? At this moment, I THOUGHT I was close to an 8 but now I feel like a 2 on the attractiveness scale. At this moment, I don't feel like any man can tell me I am pretty or beautiful or sexy and I would believe it. <br />
I am trying to find my true self as well as let my voice be heard during this divorce and after it is final but I am having a hard time doing so when I find people I enjoy being around and then I get hurt in the process or insulted. <br />
I am half tempted to just live out of my car and stay away from people for a while. Maybe that will help me focus on myself more. <br />
I hate this feeling of uncertainty. <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-68945044079005550342012-01-19T17:22:00.000-06:002012-01-19T17:22:47.259-06:00TruthWe all lie. We are all humans. Anyone who says they have never lied or don't lie is just lying. But what I don't understand is why is it so hard to tell the truth? I can understand if you are protecting someone and it isn't your right to tell the other person anything so you lie about it, that is one good reason to lie (at least in my opinion). When you are no longer with someone you were with for a very long time and you start seeing someone else, shouldn't the other person have a right to know? I am not even divorced and I found out that my husband is dating someone else. I HAVE PROOF! He denies it and changes the subject each time it is brought up. How hard is it to just say "hey, you know what, I don't love you and never really truly loved you and yes, we aren't divorced yet but I have moved on". Okay, maybe not like THAT but is it really that hard? Why make me find out from friends and the internet? Why not just tell me even after seeing the proof that you are dating someone. Someone doesn't say "so and so is a lot better than anyone I've ever dated" or "yes you can say that" when asked if so and so is your boyfriend/girlfriend if you aren't even dating or together. Friends are one thing but friends don't say they are dating or boyfriend/girlfriend. This whole situation just makes me more angry because him being around some other girl was the reason I left him in the first place. I* just don't get it. I don't care if anyone judges me for putting my "dirty laundry" out to air online but this is my blog and these are my thoughts and if you don't want to read it 1) don't follow me or 2) stop reading! Simple as that. <br />
I am still young (not even 30) and going through my first divorce with a child involved and I need to get things out in the open. I can't keep quiet about it and one thing I will not keep quiet about or stand by and watch happen is a man cheating on his wife. At least have the balls to tell her that you are with someone else. NOT THAT HARD.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-64889280381765137802012-01-01T15:12:00.002-06:002012-01-16T16:56:03.343-06:00Hello....Goodbye<div><div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></div>Hello 2012 Goodbye 2011.<br />
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I am hoping all you loyal readers had a safe yet fun New Years Eve and are starting out 2012 on a good note. <br />
2011 wasn't my most favorite year. It started off.terrible with my husband thought it may be a good idea to just set a date to end our marriage since we has already had a rocky 5 years of marriage. Then 2 months later he announced to me he was already emotionally preparing himself for a divorce. Therefore, as you can only imagine, the rest of the year was just snowballing downhill from there. We filed for divorce in late November and will be divorced come later this month. Not a "great" way to start the new year but definitely a stress free and less emotional way to start. I believe I had put up with it for so long, I have been completely broken. Im slowly regaining my composure, my self-esteem and my positivity back. It will definitely take some time but with the great friends and family I have now, all my pieces will be put back together in a shorter amount of time than I foresee!<br />
2012 will be the year of a new me. A fresh clean slate. New memories and better memories. I will be documenting these memories by attempting to do, yet again, the 365 project. If you haven't heard of this project, it's where you take a photo each day for the entire year. <br />
Im not one that likes to make resolutions because I, like many, fail to keep them. This year Im more or less making propositions. Included in those are: to get my own place by May so my son can move in, maintain my weight yet tone up a few areas, make time for some roadtrips with my son and to stay positive in the hard to handle times.<br />
I hope I keep all of you as readers and hopefully gain a few more!<br />
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</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-46371398769983235512011-12-28T16:54:00.000-06:002012-01-16T16:56:39.032-06:00Santa Was Good To Him<div>Santa checked his list and said this lil man was good all year round because Santa delivered to 3 different houses for him.<br />
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</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-37185121004396470802011-12-28T16:19:00.001-06:002011-12-28T16:19:07.001-06:00They Never Said It Would Be Easy<div><p>Christmas was a blast with my lil guy. He got 3 Christmas' pretty much. One with his dad, my parents and then myself with a few friends. He is a very spoiled and loved like man! He has, though, been taking advantage of the situation, I believe because he has not been listening to me and he has been acting out. <br>
It gets very tough at times because even in a crowded room I can feel like I am all alone. I have a handful, right now, that are being a great help and I appreciate everything they do. But even on good days, I feel like I am burdening them with having to "help" take care if my son. They definitely don't see it that way but my brain acts differently.<br>
Growing up for me, I wouldn't necessarily say, was rough but it definitely wasn't ideal. I was punished several times in a way I would never in my right mind punish my child(ren) for things I never did. Also I felt that some siblings got more attention than myself but with 4 kids, sometimes it's hard to equal out the attention. I was always the independent one. The one that "could do it all the right way"....as a lot of family members and family friends would comment. I applaud my mother for having the strength and agility to handle work, school and 4 kids as well as raising, full time and temporarily, 2 grandkids. There are some things, though, that I do not agree with that she has said or done but those are my opinions that I will keep to myself. I just feel sometimes that my child is a burden on her as well as anyone else we come in contact with. <br>
I was told yesterday by a beautiful and wonderful soul that parenting is definitely not easy and that they enjoy being around my son. That if I ever need any help, to just ask and they will be glad to help out especially if I need a moment to myself. <br>
That is another weakness of mine. Because I did pretty much everything on my own growing up as well as in the past several years, I find it very difficult to ask for any kind of help. To me, for me, that shows I am weak and cannot do it on my own. Many will and would disagree and will say it shows strength when you ask for help. Eventually, with being a single parent now, it will become easier to ask for help but right now I have to learn to do that in my own time. Even when my son doesn't listen and a friend or family member get onto him because he won't listen to what I am saying, I feel very embarrassed because I feel it is my responsibility as his mother to discipline him and no one else's. It makes me feel less of a mother when that happens. I was degraded and put down many times in the past 5 years as a mother of either how I am not doing a good enough job, being too mean/harsh, or just not ready to be a parent...all by someone who should have been my partner and should have been by my side and helping me along the way. I had put up with that for so long, that that is all I know. I have to learn to let it all go and forget all.l that negativity and move on, but again that will come with time. My OWN time. <br>
Also, I feel like at times, I have a right to be selfish because I have been selfless for many years if not most my life. When I want some time to myself, I believe I deserve to have that time. I do not appreciate anyone assuming or saying that while I have my son Im being selfish with things I've done or said. Trust me, Im the last person on my mind when I have possession of my son. Every mother deserves time to themselves to be pampered, read a book, soak in a hot bath, or just go out with the girls for some fun. I am doing all I can in my power to save up enough money to get my own place so that way I can my son full time. I've already spoke to legal aid today and have an appointment in late January. It may not help me any because my divorce is or should be final January 23rd but it will help in the fact that I will get information on how to go about a non-ugly easy custody situation. <br>
With all this said, no one said anything or everything would be easy....especially as a single parent. </p>
</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-22841551537493225942011-12-09T22:31:00.002-06:002012-01-16T16:46:47.909-06:00Birthday Wishes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></div><br />
<div>Wow, I guess I've been a busy woman since the last entry. Technically I was in lots of pain and resting up but I was also busy.<br />
My mother had a birthday the 29th of November and even though I wasn't able to celebrate it all with her, I was able to join the family for some very delicious chocolate cake. I was busy during the day filling out new hire paperwork for a job I start tomorrow. As far as I know it's just a Saturday and Sunday (weekend part time) job so I will definitely have to find something to do Monday-Friday. It gets lonely and a tad boring here all day during the week with nothing to do. I also spent some of the day at HOME HOME (where I lived a few weeks ago before filing divorce papers) to get more of my stuff. <br />
This was when all my dentist visits started. I went that morning to find out nothing new. I ended up going a week ago, exactly, to have a very badly infected abcess drained. This past Wednesday, I went and had the tooth pulled. Sucks not having a tooth there but it will take time getting used to that.<br />
Give it, I am much happier without being in that situation but everyday my heart aches to have my son. I want him with me everyday. I may not cry or sulk but on the inside my heart breaks. I was able to do some Christmas shopping (with the help of some friends) the past few days and I really hope he enjoys his gifts. I can't wait to see him open them! I will be going HOME again Christmas Eve evening to stay with my son as well as Christmas morning to watch him open gifts. <br />
I was able to have my son for my birthday. I enjoyed that very much. I took him to Bass Pro to see Santa which he very much enjoyed. He also got to visit with his uncle whom he loves dearly. I unfortunately had to take him back to his dad mid afternoon on my birthday because he needed a bath and had school the next day. He was so sad to leave. So much he cried in his Papa's arms. That breaks my heart. <br />
Im hoping to get him for at least 4 days next week as well as 4-5 days after Christmas. I need to find a week job that can help me save up for my own place. I want out of here the sooner the better so I can start trying to get my son full time. <br />
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<img height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGPT7oP20BZ9VAba9P5S7seb2DIDt6vYi9oG1C00y7MSxEdTMGDwb2IWhP6gD5gI4xcJjRlhz9er7IKYenPSVA0kY3eRA7SHjEPxN4y1BIteagFmSN5gL6SS62YqwwOpCArUMWXrq04P8q/" width="640" /></div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-90111567869524382832011-11-28T12:13:00.001-06:002011-11-28T12:13:24.290-06:00Almost A Week In<div><p>It's only been 6 days since filing for divorce. The time is going by so slow. The first 2-3 months after we filled out the papers went by so fast yet when you file them, it's like time stands still. I guess that's so you can decide if you for sure want to go through with it. Trust me, if you lived my life the past 6 yrs (of marriage alone), you too would be anxious to get it over with and move on with your life. I get the fact he will always be in my life because we have a child together and around that child we should be civil but he just makes my blood boil sometimes. <br>
In the past 6 days, I've been out of work and taking lots of meds for this tooth abcess. I need to get in touch with a ddentist as well as file Medicaid and food stamps. <br>
I am technically supposed to get paid this coming Friday but have only filled out a job application as well as I9 paperwork. I have yet to fill out my W4 which means I can't get paid til that is filled out. On top of all that craziness, Im only getting minimum wage at this job after being told it's based on experience and that I was "over experienced". Also I was gonna work 2 jobs but this one told me I would get definitely more than 20 hrs of work close to full time but in 2 weeks I've only worked 12 hours. <br>
Living on my own sucks, it can be frustrating and sometimes boring. Im ready to start a new life....not just stand here in the middle. </p>
</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-81077806821771384452011-11-25T00:04:00.002-06:002012-01-16T16:45:27.246-06:00Happy Thanksgiving<div>Im hoping all you wonderful readers had a fabulous Thanksgiving!!! Mine wasn't all that bad....not many complaints. <br />
Wednesday evening, I was admitted to the ER due to my lower left jaw being severely swollen from a tooth abcess. While I am on the topic of Thanksgiving, I will say here Im thankful my husband showed up to sit with me. He knows how much I do not like hospitals. Anyways, the ER did not give me any kind of pain shot or antibiotic drip. So after only 20 min (or less), I.was discharged with a prescription for pain pills and antibiotics. I no longer have insurance so I was not able to afford the medicine. <br />
Thanksgiving morning, my mom informed me she was paying for my meds and I was and am very thankful and appreciative of her for doing that. My jaw was actually worse that morning than it was the night before in the ER. <br />
Throughout the day, I ended up eating 7 helpings of turkey, 3 helpings of mashed potatoes, 2 helpings of cranberries and a piece of pie. That is the most I've ate in quite some time. After all that my parents informed me the swelling looks to have gone down but to me I couldn't tell. <br />
Today, lil man goes back home to his daddy. I am not sure what all I've posted here but I am no longer living at home. I am thankful I was able to have my baby for the last 3-4 days. I will miss him like crazy. <br />
Due to all the swelling, pain and infection Im dealing with, I am not working until Monday or Tuesday. I have a work note from hospital saying I need to have some time off. I also have a friend that will try to get me a cashier job about 12 hours a week (weekend most likely) working at their company. I need some more hours and more pay. <br />
Again, I hope you all had a great holiday and have lots to be thankful for. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJqY8_tVgVkOo3Ec1X_Vjirg1TjhwdB5E_EpZGDFrQr7dreIcpUrbN0_wTEkyabnrDaYVG8LcJ69sFNdOUbe2w_4y7ZOBNXEss8j_KgOSXXTILM7Dmaf6ogzrCG6MU1yvgTjqRflMxL3M/s1600/2011-11-24+09.58.49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJqY8_tVgVkOo3Ec1X_Vjirg1TjhwdB5E_EpZGDFrQr7dreIcpUrbN0_wTEkyabnrDaYVG8LcJ69sFNdOUbe2w_4y7ZOBNXEss8j_KgOSXXTILM7Dmaf6ogzrCG6MU1yvgTjqRflMxL3M/s640/2011-11-24+09.58.49.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nephew and my lil man being silly </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpC4Zo8F4tyfjACavDIjZzCUVFvZhyphenhypheny66lIZYkGqDVl8dbgmxEndGmWCvFJZeMxQTLXqunYSAK6eXpQUK9WlSW6oLEUZrIpPKhz3B3rWSR5jQWYqa1tCuVKMwYr6V_P8au769HOwz6fN2W/s1600/2011-11-24+09.59.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpC4Zo8F4tyfjACavDIjZzCUVFvZhyphenhypheny66lIZYkGqDVl8dbgmxEndGmWCvFJZeMxQTLXqunYSAK6eXpQUK9WlSW6oLEUZrIpPKhz3B3rWSR5jQWYqa1tCuVKMwYr6V_P8au769HOwz6fN2W/s640/2011-11-24+09.59.06.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little Thanksgiving sillyness</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwWU1rqWsQ-wMexFzFBTZbla8x5G5UplvgiI_X9NFHmfbXVB9_MGB2Fyo1LG_gCj1WtGnVXx96xU3tgFZGev_OhI2LUEOeAAo28jzBoNMvQOa-trhkdLu_dIH2IWi1-od8pNZz5c_E3rsi/s1600/2011-11-24+10.41.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwWU1rqWsQ-wMexFzFBTZbla8x5G5UplvgiI_X9NFHmfbXVB9_MGB2Fyo1LG_gCj1WtGnVXx96xU3tgFZGev_OhI2LUEOeAAo28jzBoNMvQOa-trhkdLu_dIH2IWi1-od8pNZz5c_E3rsi/s640/2011-11-24+10.41.55.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My lil man with his uncle (my baby brother)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG2H6z9m-jrQF_Xvs8GhcIdXsH9wOBs2rj5dOS8CecPS14AcLoeGtFGxMVvEp-_mZgJLV0k7__DTfPND3JKK4CAsxyGrfYLAIurnr374me3Ibtp9roguqjkPCapYVQ6QRnESnaeoiRc9_I/s1600/2011-11-24+14.01.37.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG2H6z9m-jrQF_Xvs8GhcIdXsH9wOBs2rj5dOS8CecPS14AcLoeGtFGxMVvEp-_mZgJLV0k7__DTfPND3JKK4CAsxyGrfYLAIurnr374me3Ibtp9roguqjkPCapYVQ6QRnESnaeoiRc9_I/s400/2011-11-24+14.01.37.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first plate out of many</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPTMTd7ZPiqM3lXI1faTE8PtYP4Bq66_AHxVFI9eLlNovFFdl_0tsTvwjDyZ3oYgJMUKBbslN7bW9KNJ99ck4bWXBLOn_-YIhHfHE1UTk3SMW_iDWgtidO14p5qDNU-2yonx2G_gSC7jG/s1600/2011-11-24+14.01.47.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPTMTd7ZPiqM3lXI1faTE8PtYP4Bq66_AHxVFI9eLlNovFFdl_0tsTvwjDyZ3oYgJMUKBbslN7bW9KNJ99ck4bWXBLOn_-YIhHfHE1UTk3SMW_iDWgtidO14p5qDNU-2yonx2G_gSC7jG/s640/2011-11-24+14.01.47.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlBzE8qRxIfTpSimvUouTObwKaazPXZRZuhvedrC5FaYmKeS2hEws_TPO1eqBK04rCE61JXZoyFjPmswLV7FVio7tr9MdHvMu5cvTYn6qpLis0RUifAbYnORXjKVpUIdBKbMpSXEqAG6gk/s1600/2011-11-24+14.02.44.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlBzE8qRxIfTpSimvUouTObwKaazPXZRZuhvedrC5FaYmKeS2hEws_TPO1eqBK04rCE61JXZoyFjPmswLV7FVio7tr9MdHvMu5cvTYn6qpLis0RUifAbYnORXjKVpUIdBKbMpSXEqAG6gk/s640/2011-11-24+14.02.44.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-10475968324927659042011-11-23T16:40:00.002-06:002012-01-16T16:42:57.087-06:00Stressed yet Relaxed<div>Im excited to share that in 59 days, I will be a single woman and away from the stressful situation I was in. We signed and filed papers yesterday. <br />
This past Saturday, I started my first day of a new job. It was "work" but not that stressful. Actually it was quite relaxing. It kept my mind occupied. <br />
I was missing my lil man like crazy and yet at the same time I was dealing with a husband who was attempting to keep my son from me. Apparently, he is meeting with a lawyer and getting information from him. He needed an address where I was staying since I moved out and my son would be staying. But out of respect for the people Im staying with, I wouldn't give an address. Therefore, he was trying to tell me I couldn't have him this holiday weekend. <br />
After much debate, we agreed lil guy will sleep over at my mom's place but Id of course have him with me all day. Even that caused a debate. <br />
On top of all this, Im still dealing with a swollen and painful jaw/abcess that will not seem to go any. Dental schools won't take me since my case is too severe for students and I no longer have insurance. This all sucks.<br />
But I am, in the end, thankful for my main family as well as my 2nd "family" who has taken me in. They are all so great and even though I may not be able to each for Thanksgiving, I will be glad to just be around such wonderful people and have such a great support system through this trying time.<br />
<br />
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</div>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-52645800397287171062011-11-18T16:30:00.000-06:002011-11-18T16:30:29.758-06:00A Change In My LifeMy life really changed the moment I moved in with my husband. It changed again when I married him. Then yet again when a little boy was placed in my arms at 12:50am on August 10, 2006. <br />
Today, my life is changing yet again. I am removing myself from a very stressful situation and going to start living my life the way it needs to be lived. Relaxed yet busy and with people who truly respect and care about me. I am removing myself from a home where I feel I am put down and insulted daily. I am removing myself from a home where I do not feel loved. It truly hurts because I am removing myself from a home where my son is. <br />
I am not going to be concerned if I can live on my own because I have a big support system of friends and family who can help in any way possible even if it is to just offer a hug. Trust me, sometimes that is all I need. I am more concerned with my son's emotional being. How is he going to take all this? <br />
I am supposed to start a job come Monday for <a href="www.clothesmentor.com">Clothes Mentor</a>, a women's resale clothing store but tomorrow I start a job at <a href="www.wetseal.com">Wet Seal </a>. It will be a brand new store at a local mall so I am very excited for that. I love their clothing. I know where a few of my paychecks are going to go! Ha! Hopefully, I can work there and at least another good paying place as well but for now I think I'm just going to stick to working there for right now and keep looking for a well paying job with full time hours. <br />
<br />
I have a list of songs as of right now to say what I am going through or how I feel. <br />
<br />
Stronger-Sara Evans <br />
Give it Away-George Strait<br />
He Ain't Worth Missing-Toby Keith<br />
Going Through The Big D-Mark Chestnutt<br />
All I Want-Darius Rucker<br />
Leave The Pieces-The Wreckers<br />
Trouble-Cold Play<br />
Tattoo-Jordin Sparks<br />
Black-Pearl Jam<br />
<br />
Those are the select few on my brain right now. <br />
<br />
Today, my life changes, yet again. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-56321427313152592442011-11-12T19:49:00.000-06:002011-11-12T19:49:18.867-06:00Happiness, where is it?Back in January, I wrote a journal entry in my private journal about a Biggest Loser episode I saw. Jillian, the trainer, asked one of the contestants, "Have you ever truly reached for anything?" At that moment in time, I stopped to reflect on my own life. It was like she was asking me that question. What have I ever reached for? What have I truly reached for? In the end, all I can think of is nothing. What do I want to reach for? Happiness. Something every human being wants in life. <br />
<br />
There have been moments in the past 7 years where I, among others, thought I was happy. To be honest, now that I think about it, I think it was just a front, a show, just to hide the underlying emptiness I felt. <br />
<br />
I was happy the day I got engaged but then, at the same moment, I felt very empty. Every girl dreams of a romantic proposal as well as a beautiful lavish wedding. All I got was a "so do you?" in a hotel bed when I got asked to marry him. <br />
<br />
I was happy the day I got married but, that same day, I felt empty. My biological father dropped a big bombshell less than 12 hours before my wedding so he never showed up. Then there was all the guilt that my mother wasn't there because of my stupid choices. <br />
<br />
I was happy the day my son was but I was left alone after he was born. I was also left during the labor process. My husband decided to go to lunch with one of his "girl" friends while I was in labor and then leave for hours on end after our son was born to check on the dogs and "get some rest". My son was in the nursery while I was left alone feeling very empty inside a labor and delivery room. <br />
<br />
There has been a void in my life for the last 7 years. I am missing happiness. I want to be happy. Why does happiness seem so far out of reach for me? <br />
<br />
Back in January, my husband had informed me that he was already emotionally prepared for a divorce. So, maybe that is why 9 months later, he told me he wasn't in love with me and hadn't been for a while. <br />
<br />
A month later, he told told me he wanted to set a date to "end our marriage". If our issues weren't worked out by that date, we should call it quits. If I didn't feel empty at that point, I guess I do now. All I ever asked was some respect, trust, understanding, love, honesty, help, affection, attention and of course happiness. <br />
<br />
Happiness, where is it??? <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805120873818691958.post-87223580008373616122011-11-12T01:03:00.000-06:002011-11-12T01:03:27.789-06:00New Transition In LifeThursday, I went into "town" to interview mid afternoon for a clothing resale shop called <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.clothesmentor.com">Clothes Mentor</a> and after interviewing with (I'm assuming) the Assistant Manager and both the owners, I was told to do a "fashion" test. It is pretty much where they give me a basket/box of clothes that are (or should be) 2 years old or newer and told me to say yes or no to the ones I pull out. No, to the ones are old, dingy, ripped, stained, too small or just not in style. And yes....well to obviously all the ones NOT listed! And they said I did pretty well but they still wanted to "noodle" over the thought of hiring me. So, I left to carry on with my day when I received a call a few minutes later asking me to go to the mall nearby to do a 2nd interview with Auntie Anne's pretzels. I went there about an hour later (if that) and filled out a W4 along with new hire paperwork but I am still waiting to hear back from corporate on my background check to see if I am actually truly hired. I also received a call from Clothes Mentor saying they wanted to bring me on board and make me an offer. I called the clothing store back later in the evening and got the offer. I was supposed to call them back today to say yes or no to the offer but I have been in pain all day and I was hoping to hear back from Auntie Annes. Either way, I calculated it and gave an "average" hourly rate a week and I will end up with pretty much the same pay each month, if not pretty darned close, if I worked either or both jobs. <br />
<br />
Thursday evening, on the way home, I found a lump on my lower left jaw. It has been swollen pretty much all day. Before I got in bed, I noticed it was an abcess that was under my gumline. Blah. Not good. I also have one on my upper right gum line but that one comes and goes and isn't as bad. I am not insured anymore so I called the dentist today to get information on that and usually without insurance an exam and xrays are $125 but they are willing to give those to me at $80 BUT first I have to finish ALL my antibiotics before they can see me in their office. So, until then, I am popping Ibprofen for the inflammation and antibiotics for the infection and eating anything that requires NO chewing. <br />
<br />
So tomorrow, like I said, I am going to call the clothing store and see if the offer is still available and take it if it is. If it is, I will be moving closer to the job and in with a friend until I am able to move out on my own into my own place. It will definitely be a new experience being a "single parent" out on my own but I will make it work. I will have my friends and family there to support me. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/328/71CFC1A2EF2BF026F96DBF315247E381.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Teresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01276820019754071826noreply@blogger.com1