I Sound Like My Mother

Day 3: No Junk Food Challenge

2012-02-29T20:10:00.002-06:00

I have to say that today I have unfortunately been on the BRAT diet. Those with children will know what that diet is and why I am on that diet. I think this new change in eating habits has disturbed my system and I have not been feeling well at all today.
I have though, ate one handful of sunflower seeds, 3 cups of coffee (again with small amount of creamer and no sugar), and a bowl of ramen soup (not good for you but it is pasta and not on the no junk food list!). I have also had about 5 cups of water today and a banana.

Day 3: If you were at your goal weight right now, what piece of clothing would you buy/wear?

Well that is simple. A bikini or very cute retro swimsuit. Summer is just around the corner.

Here is to hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Day 2: No Junk Food Challenge

2012-02-28T22:22:00.000-06:00

Besides a piece of gum and half a glass of sweet tea, I have to say that I believe I did rather well today. Breakfast was a glass of milk. Lunch was pasta salad with half a turkey sandwich (no cheese). I then had chicken noodle soup for dinner.

Day 2: What is your favorite part of your body?

This question is especially hard for me to answer. I would say my eyes because I love how they can tell a story and how they can show you the world but then that would be too easy. I am going to have to say my calves. They aren't too large and not too small but show there is muscle in them. They make my legs look good while I am wearing heels and look long in short shorts!

Day 1: No Junk Food Challenge

2012-02-27T14:42:00.000-06:00

I have no problem saying "NO" except to "happy foods" aka junk foods. No, I am not a bored eater or a depressed eater or a random eater but I do like to eat sweets, chips, crackers, etc from time to time with my meal or as a snack.
Today is the first day into being junk free. It is just day one and I know that I can do it as I am almost done with the day. Alright, it is just the middle of the day but so what...I can finish the day.
So far, I have consumed 2 glasses of water and a mesquite turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat bread with natural veggie straws (like veggie chips but healthier). I have on the other hand had 3 cups of coffee with a small amount (less than I usually add) hazelnut creamer NO sugar this time around. I was falling asleep the past few hours and being the middle of the day, I had to have a wake me up.

Day 1: What is your current weight and what would you like it to be?

Yes, I will put my weight out there for the whole world to see. I am not ashamed. My current weight is 125.6 pounds and I would like it to be no less than 120 pounds but I have been under that weight before.

Update: Photos

2012-02-27T14:29:00.000-06:00

I haven't shared any photos recently so this blog post is just to update you all on photos!!!

I recently took photos of my 5 year old and here are the results. Now, I will tell you something. As a mother to only one child, I still say he JUST turned 5 but many will argue he is about 5 1/2 and he will argue he is 6. So, remember, do not argue with mama because mama will always say "YOU JUST TURNED 5!!!"

Last weekend when I had my son, he had his first dental check up. I was so proud of him. At first he was like the fish that knew all too well and would not open his mouth but after a few minutes and bribing and pleading, he opened up and did soooooo very well.

This past weekend I had him, I didn't truly think I was going to make it out of it alive. He had a very bad temperment to him as well as an attitude. I guess that is to be expected when having to live in 2 different houses at the age of 5. BUT, because the weather was so nice, I took him out of the apartment and to the park nearby as well as the obstacle course which he had a blast on.

21 Day No Junk Food Challenge

2012-02-27T14:22:00.000-06:00

Come one, come all. Come join me in this challenge. I cannot do it alone!! Plus you will feel better about yourself and feel healthier and more energized if you join me in this challenge.

You can keep a blog or a journal of your 21 days and you can follow it with these questions:

Day 1: What is your current weight and what would you like it to be?
Day 2: What is your favourite part of your body?
Day 3: If you were at your ultimate goalweight right now what piece of clothing you buy/wear?
Day 4: What is your exercise routine?
Day 5: What is your favourite healthy snack or treat?
Day 6: Do you binge? If so, when was your last binge and how did it make you feel?
Day 7: What was the last compliment you remember receiving? What is the best compliment you could possibly receive?
Day 8: Have you got any tips or tricks to keep yourself from eating junk food?
Day 9: What is your favourite type of exercise?
Day 10: What do you like in a partner?
Day 11: Which part of being healthy do you struggle with the most? Diet? Exercise? Sleep? Mental Health?
Day 12: Why do you want to be fit?
Day 13: Do you have a special event coming up that you want to look good for? Who would you like to impress?
Day 14: Do you like yourself? How do you deal with negative feelings? What do you like the most about yourself?
Day 15: How do you feel after two weeks junk free? How have you found the last two weeks?
Day 16: Do you do weight training, cardio or both? What is you favourite and least favourite exercise?
Day 17: What are your top 3 reasons for being healthy?
Day 18: Do you go to the beach? Do you wear a bikini? How do you feel when you do so? Would you like to feel differently?
Day 19: Who do you look up to health/fitness-wise? What is it that you admire most?
Day 20: What is your ultimate fitness goal?
Day 21: How do you feel? Have you noticed any changes in yourself?

Friday From Hell

2012-02-25T12:23:00.000-06:00

I've had many a bad Friday but I think yesterday has to be the worst Friday yet, at least since moving out on my own and the divorce. A few weeks back, I received a ticket (because obviously the officer had nothing better to do) for an out of date inspection sticker on the truck my ex husband is letting me drive until he either he a) fixes my car or b) tows it to my parents for someone else to fix. The officer told me to get it inspected by the 28 of February and then take the proof of inspection up to the court house by that date and get it dismissed for only $20.
Therefore, I was going to have ex hubs get it inspected last week but apparently he was low on funds. I fought and argued the point but decided it was like yelling at a wall so we agreed yesterday was THE last day it could get done. Well, in the end the truck didn't get inspected. The check engine light was on so ex hubs disconnected the battery for about 5 minutes. That didn't turn the light off. He then disconnected it for about 10 minutes, maybe 15 and that still didn't work. THEN we took it back to his house where he got his code reader and erased the codes. That did the trick. Well, because the battery was disconnected, the O2 reader or whatever wasn't reading and the inspection guy told me I had to put some miles back on the truck before getting it re-inspected. So ex hubs was kind enough to give me $40 for inspection and told me to find a place to get it done before Monday....if they check engine light doesn't come back on.
I called the court house to see if they could extend the date and they said I could make a court date to talk to judge/prosecuter to see if he/she will lower the fine. I asked why I would have to have fine lowered and found out that because the inspection has been out for more than 60 days (been expired since July), I cannot pay the $20 dismissal fee. I have to pay the $151 fine to get rid of the ticket. I can't even take defensive driving to remove the citation/ticket.
On top of all that, I found out that my last pay check from the shoe company I was working for, didn't direct deposit my check and ex hubs had the check in his mail box for at least 2 weeks now. Give it, it is only about 6 hours worth of pay but that is better than nothing. Therefore, with that deposited, I only have about $55 in my name until I find a job. I have rent and bills and other things to pay and I am not having a great life after divorce. Single life is becoming harder and harder than I thought.
I thought I would be much happier and in the aspect of not having someone yell me at, degrade me, insult me or controlling me, I am much happier but financially wise, this sucks.

Skele-Toes

2012-02-23T13:57:00.000-06:00

What the heck are Skele-Toes, you ask? Fila Skeletoes are the new hot barefoot running shoes to hit the market. Not like I run but I guess I could start. I first heard of these silly looking duds on my best friend's Facebook page and was wondering what they were. After getting her a pair of toe socks to go with the toe shoes, I had a package arrive at my doorstep today. To my surprise and excitement, my best friend sent me some Skele-toe shoes as well.
I have to admit they are a bit goofy looking. You have to concentrate on where your toes go just like a pair of gloves and the material feels strange between your toes. BUT, I will also admit they are quite comfy.
So my adventures with Skele-toes starts today.
My first stop: my 3 story balcony to enjoy the spring like weather.

You Can't Change Them

2012-02-21T16:56:00.000-06:00

You can only change yourself. Over the past 2 weeks, I have had time to reflect on my divorce and my life before divorce. Many words were said that cannot be taken back. Many questions were asked and not many answers were given.
If you are treated unfairly or "like crap" (as many refer to it), then why do you still care about the person or what they are doing in their life? Not an easy question to answer, is it?
I was given the opportunity to give some advice to a friend of mine this past weekend...okay I more or less just gave them the advice without them asking for it but it seemed fitting at the time.
At times, in the past 8 years, I was treated like a child, a slave at others and a nanny at most. I wanted to be treated for who I was. A girl who loves being goofy, having fun, being spontaneous and just lounging around being lazy. That is who I am. Yes, I like to clean but it makes me feel dirty when everything else is dirty. I love being around my son but I do not want to feel like I am babysitting him because the other parent has other things on their agenda.
The answer to the question "why do you still care" is definitely not an easy one to answer, especially to the person's face. The reason I care is because I love him. I loved my ex husband when we first met, I loved him when I moved in with him and I loved him through all the fights, the drama and the almost-3 or 4-divorces. I loved him because not only was....is he the father of my child but because he stood by my side through a lot of drama and turmoil in my life. He showed me who I really was in life and who I truly wanted to be with.
I love him because, to me, that is the norm. I am not used to going on dates. I am not used to saying "I love you" to any other guy. I am not used to holding hand with anyone but my son and my ex husband. And I sure as heck aren't used to sleeping or cuddling with any other guy. Time will change that, I know it will.
Change sucks but it brings new things in life. It brings out your true dreams, goals, aspirations as well personality and thoughts.
I will not say that I took my ex husband for granted nor ever appreciated him because I appreciated every little thing he did for me. I may have hated holding that flashlight while he worked under the hood of the car or on a boat engine but I watched him intently and learned some things. I may have hated to hold that ladder while he was changing a light bulb or putting up Christmas lights but it gave me a chance to look at his butt! What girl (or guy) doesn't like to do that with their significant other? I may have hated him sleeping in all those years before he went to work or on his days off but to me that gave me time to think and time to work and time to clean and definitely time NOT to fight and argue. I never truly card to get flowers on holidays, birthdays or just random occasions but to him that was his way of showing me he loved me. He may have gotten me just plain ol' gift cards and to me I may have thought that meant he didn't put any thought into getting me anything but really, he did....he thought that if he got me a gift card I could spend it on myself and get myself WHATEVER I wanted.
I may have hated him leaving his socks around the house, the dishes ABOVE the dishwasher or in the sink, his baseball caps laying all over the house and other little things he did but those were his quirks. I wake up and I don't see socks under the coffee table, hats on the couch, and dishes are IN the dishwasher or washed on a towel on the counter tops. I go about my day and I don't see or rarely talk to him or see any photos of him.
I am in a new life and sometimes it really hurts. It, in a way, makes me really miss him. Again, because that was the norm for me for 8 years. Now that he is gone, I see all this. I actually saw it all before and was, in my mind, wishing he would change because all that stuff annoyed me. BUT, that was...is who he is.
I say all this because no matter how annoying someone may be, that is who they are. Annoyances are just that....annoyances. Little quirks that make a person who they are. You don't fall in love with someone because of their looks or their personality. Those are just SOME of the reasons you fall in love. But if you were to think about it, how would you feel if one day you woke up and the person who annoyed the crap out of you for almost a decade was gone? Those annoying habits they did were gone?
Do not take things people do for granted. Appreciate all the little...or big things they do and thank them for everything they do...even annoying you...because when they are gone, you too will see all that I have been seeing and you will miss that person like crazy and get upset at whoever they are now with because you will feel only YOU should be the one to be annoyed by them.
No matter what you do, you cannot change a person. You can only change who you are.

Looking Back - - - Moving Forward

2012-02-13T16:15:00.000-06:00

Looking back on life and moving on at the same time

(Thank you Pinterest for these wonderful quotes!)

Why Hide The Truth?

2012-02-13T13:48:00.000-06:00

Lies. Everyone lies. We are all human. We make that mistake. Sometimes we lie so we don't hurt someone we care or love about deeply. Other times we lie so we don't get caught or get in trouble. Which are you? Both? It is okay if you are both because, again, we are all human. I can admit to my lies and my mistakes and in my marriage, there were several lies and several mistakes. It is a marriage! I was also lied to many times and still to this day I am being lied to.
The marriage is over. The divorce is final. Why lie? Why hide the truth?
I am told by my ex-husband (that will take a while to remember to type out because he was my husband for 6 years), "I do not have to explain myself to you nor do I need to inform you of my love life." I am not asking him to explain himself nor tell me about his love life. The thing is, when one person tells the other they are not in love with them and haven't been for a while. As well as "I will not date anyone for at least a year after the divorce" and "I will never in my life get married ever again." and is dating someone at least one month before the divorce is final...they have seemed to move on pretty quickly. Therefore sending me a message that he was never in love with me and has no problem moving on.

To me, that hurts. That should hurt anyone. You were with the person for 8 years (ALMOST a decade) of your life and they turn around and move to the next before everything is finalized or over between you two.

I have been asked by many lately "are you still in love with him?" To be honest (since that is what the blog post is about), no I am not. I still love him because I loved him for 8 years. I still care about what happens to him because that is just low and immature to say "oh well, we are no longer together, hope you get run over by a bus". Now give it, those words may run through my mind occasionally but I would not know what to do if something happened to my son's father. I am not in love with him though. I cannot be in love with someone who will not be up front and honest with me. When I ask a question, all I am asking for is a simple answer --- THE TRUTH. No, the truth isn't always an easy thing to say especially if you don't want to hurt the person's feelings or do not want to be "in trouble" with the person. BUT, it is a weight lifted off your shoulders when you do tell the truth.
My ex-husband gets irritated/annoyed when I call or email him and I am not happy....to say the least being a bitch. Well, that happened last night because I got a phone call and a voice mail that changed my mind set about a lot of things. I wanted to talk to him about it. He sent me a text this morning asking if I "was better". What the heck does that mean? No, I am not sick. No, I am not dying. No, I do not have cancer. So, how am I better? I asked and he said "well I was just seeing if you were okay. You were really upset last night." And dear ex husband of mine, do you know the reason I was upset? "Because of the lies," he stated. BINGO!!! Right on the nose. I straight up told him, if he were to be honest with me then I would not be upset nor would I be calling him bitching about stuff.
We are no longer married. Why hide anything? Why lie? It makes no sense....not just to me but to others who know the situation or are involved in the situation as well.

So, the point of this is, the truth is not always easy to come out with but in the end, it will make you feel better as well as make the other happy that you are no longer lying to them.

Unsure Of Myself

2012-01-27T10:53:00.000-06:00

I thought, lately, my life was heading down the right path. I have a decent part time job...yes hours suck as it is only on the weekends which gives me NOTHING to do during the week to fill that void but I can't complain really as most would complain they are working too much. Guess the only real complaint would be that I am not making enough money to scrape by as a divorced mother. (well not divorced yet, but that is another topic). I also was about to get an apartment that I can share with my lil man and give him some stability in these rocky confusing times (for him).
I went to bed sick to my stomach and woke up with a headache bigger than the Mt Rushmore carvings. I think stress is creeping up on me again and I do not like it.
I also do not like thinking I am something to turn out to be nothing. I understand guys (and some gals) will look at porn here and there as that is a very natural thing to do. What I don't understand is why do they do it when they KNOW they have something better and prettier and less fake than all that?? Want more adventures in the bedroom?? Fine, just ask and maybe do some research together. Want more role play? Fine, just ask and go buy some costumes! Want something other than the norm? It is not that hard to ask a person. I understand if you are shy about it but your partner will never know unless you ask them. I was with a man for going on 8 years who I call a porn/sex addict. He was always at strip clubs, watching porn dvds, porn online, looking at pictures on the computer and saving them to his desktop or phone as well as even ordering the Playboy channel on cable tv. It is a no wonder our sex life was barely there. I felt I couldn't compare to those girls nor what they could "provide" in the bedroom. I felt I was no longer attractive and that is why he was doing that. At one point, during the peak of our sex life, he told me he was going to strip clubs because he wasn't getting enough sex. So watching girls dance naked/half naked around a pole to techno music gives you that satisfied feeling that you just had sex? Sure, makes a lot of sense....not sure why I never saw that before *sarcasm* Therefore, I do not want to be with anyone who is going to be like that. I already have self esteem issues let alone adding that on top of it just makes it worse.
So I ask myself just how pretty are you? How confident are you? How attractive do you seem? At this moment, I THOUGHT I was close to an 8 but now I feel like a 2 on the attractiveness scale. At this moment, I don't feel like any man can tell me I am pretty or beautiful or sexy and I would believe it.
I am trying to find my true self as well as let my voice be heard during this divorce and after it is final but I am having a hard time doing so when I find people I enjoy being around and then I get hurt in the process or insulted.
I am half tempted to just live out of my car and stay away from people for a while. Maybe that will help me focus on myself more.
I hate this feeling of uncertainty.

Truth

2012-01-19T17:22:00.000-06:00

We all lie. We are all humans. Anyone who says they have never lied or don't lie is just lying. But what I don't understand is why is it so hard to tell the truth? I can understand if you are protecting someone and it isn't your right to tell the other person anything so you lie about it, that is one good reason to lie (at least in my opinion). When you are no longer with someone you were with for a very long time and you start seeing someone else, shouldn't the other person have a right to know? I am not even divorced and I found out that my husband is dating someone else. I HAVE PROOF! He denies it and changes the subject each time it is brought up. How hard is it to just say "hey, you know what, I don't love you and never really truly loved you and yes, we aren't divorced yet but I have moved on". Okay, maybe not like THAT but is it really that hard? Why make me find out from friends and the internet? Why not just tell me even after seeing the proof that you are dating someone. Someone doesn't say "so and so is a lot better than anyone I've ever dated" or "yes you can say that" when asked if so and so is your boyfriend/girlfriend if you aren't even dating or together. Friends are one thing but friends don't say they are dating or boyfriend/girlfriend. This whole situation just makes me more angry because him being around some other girl was the reason I left him in the first place. I* just don't get it. I don't care if anyone judges me for putting my "dirty laundry" out to air online but this is my blog and these are my thoughts and if you don't want to read it 1) don't follow me or 2) stop reading! Simple as that.
I am still young (not even 30) and going through my first divorce with a child involved and I need to get things out in the open. I can't keep quiet about it and one thing I will not keep quiet about or stand by and watch happen is a man cheating on his wife. At least have the balls to tell her that you are with someone else. NOT THAT HARD.

Hello....Goodbye

2012-01-01T15:12:00.002-06:00

Hello 2012 Goodbye 2011.

I am hoping all you loyal readers had a safe yet fun New Years Eve and are starting out 2012 on a good note.
2011 wasn't my most favorite year. It started off.terrible with my husband thought it may be a good idea to just set a date to end our marriage since we has already had a rocky 5 years of marriage. Then 2 months later he announced to me he was already emotionally preparing himself for a divorce. Therefore, as you can only imagine, the rest of the year was just snowballing downhill from there. We filed for divorce in late November and will be divorced come later this month. Not a "great" way to start the new year but definitely a stress free and less emotional way to start. I believe I had put up with it for so long, I have been completely broken. Im slowly regaining my composure, my self-esteem and my positivity back. It will definitely take some time but with the great friends and family I have now, all my pieces will be put back together in a shorter amount of time than I foresee!
2012 will be the year of a new me. A fresh clean slate. New memories and better memories. I will be documenting these memories by attempting to do, yet again, the 365 project. If you haven't heard of this project, it's where you take a photo each day for the entire year.
Im not one that likes to make resolutions because I, like many, fail to keep them. This year Im more or less making propositions. Included in those are: to get my own place by May so my son can move in, maintain my weight yet tone up a few areas, make time for some roadtrips with my son and to stay positive in the hard to handle times.
I hope I keep all of you as readers and hopefully gain a few more!

Santa Was Good To Him

2011-12-28T16:54:00.000-06:00

Santa checked his list and said this lil man was good all year round because Santa delivered to 3 different houses for him.

They Never Said It Would Be Easy

2011-12-28T16:19:00.001-06:00

Christmas was a blast with my lil guy. He got 3 Christmas' pretty much. One with his dad, my parents and then myself with a few friends. He is a very spoiled and loved like man! He has, though, been taking advantage of the situation, I believe because he has not been listening to me and he has been acting out.
It gets very tough at times because even in a crowded room I can feel like I am all alone. I have a handful, right now, that are being a great help and I appreciate everything they do. But even on good days, I feel like I am burdening them with having to "help" take care if my son. They definitely don't see it that way but my brain acts differently.
Growing up for me, I wouldn't necessarily say, was rough but it definitely wasn't ideal. I was punished several times in a way I would never in my right mind punish my child(ren) for things I never did. Also I felt that some siblings got more attention than myself but with 4 kids, sometimes it's hard to equal out the attention. I was always the independent one. The one that "could do it all the right way"....as a lot of family members and family friends would comment. I applaud my mother for having the strength and agility to handle work, school and 4 kids as well as raising, full time and temporarily, 2 grandkids. There are some things, though, that I do not agree with that she has said or done but those are my opinions that I will keep to myself. I just feel sometimes that my child is a burden on her as well as anyone else we come in contact with.
I was told yesterday by a beautiful and wonderful soul that parenting is definitely not easy and that they enjoy being around my son. That if I ever need any help, to just ask and they will be glad to help out especially if I need a moment to myself.
That is another weakness of mine. Because I did pretty much everything on my own growing up as well as in the past several years, I find it very difficult to ask for any kind of help. To me, for me, that shows I am weak and cannot do it on my own. Many will and would disagree and will say it shows strength when you ask for help. Eventually, with being a single parent now, it will become easier to ask for help but right now I have to learn to do that in my own time. Even when my son doesn't listen and a friend or family member get onto him because he won't listen to what I am saying, I feel very embarrassed because I feel it is my responsibility as his mother to discipline him and no one else's. It makes me feel less of a mother when that happens. I was degraded and put down many times in the past 5 years as a mother of either how I am not doing a good enough job, being too mean/harsh, or just not ready to be a parent...all by someone who should have been my partner and should have been by my side and helping me along the way. I had put up with that for so long, that that is all I know. I have to learn to let it all go and forget all.l that negativity and move on, but again that will come with time. My OWN time.
Also, I feel like at times, I have a right to be selfish because I have been selfless for many years if not most my life. When I want some time to myself, I believe I deserve to have that time. I do not appreciate anyone assuming or saying that while I have my son Im being selfish with things I've done or said. Trust me, Im the last person on my mind when I have possession of my son. Every mother deserves time to themselves to be pampered, read a book, soak in a hot bath, or just go out with the girls for some fun. I am doing all I can in my power to save up enough money to get my own place so that way I can my son full time. I've already spoke to legal aid today and have an appointment in late January. It may not help me any because my divorce is or should be final January 23rd but it will help in the fact that I will get information on how to go about a non-ugly easy custody situation.
With all this said, no one said anything or everything would be easy....especially as a single parent.

Birthday Wishes

2011-12-09T22:31:00.002-06:00

Wow, I guess I've been a busy woman since the last entry. Technically I was in lots of pain and resting up but I was also busy.
My mother had a birthday the 29th of November and even though I wasn't able to celebrate it all with her, I was able to join the family for some very delicious chocolate cake. I was busy during the day filling out new hire paperwork for a job I start tomorrow. As far as I know it's just a Saturday and Sunday (weekend part time) job so I will definitely have to find something to do Monday-Friday. It gets lonely and a tad boring here all day during the week with nothing to do. I also spent some of the day at HOME HOME (where I lived a few weeks ago before filing divorce papers) to get more of my stuff.
This was when all my dentist visits started. I went that morning to find out nothing new. I ended up going a week ago, exactly, to have a very badly infected abcess drained. This past Wednesday, I went and had the tooth pulled. Sucks not having a tooth there but it will take time getting used to that.
Give it, I am much happier without being in that situation but everyday my heart aches to have my son. I want him with me everyday. I may not cry or sulk but on the inside my heart breaks. I was able to do some Christmas shopping (with the help of some friends) the past few days and I really hope he enjoys his gifts. I can't wait to see him open them! I will be going HOME again Christmas Eve evening to stay with my son as well as Christmas morning to watch him open gifts.
I was able to have my son for my birthday. I enjoyed that very much. I took him to Bass Pro to see Santa which he very much enjoyed. He also got to visit with his uncle whom he loves dearly. I unfortunately had to take him back to his dad mid afternoon on my birthday because he needed a bath and had school the next day. He was so sad to leave. So much he cried in his Papa's arms. That breaks my heart.
Im hoping to get him for at least 4 days next week as well as 4-5 days after Christmas. I need to find a week job that can help me save up for my own place. I want out of here the sooner the better so I can start trying to get my son full time.

Almost A Week In

2011-11-28T12:13:00.001-06:00

It's only been 6 days since filing for divorce. The time is going by so slow. The first 2-3 months after we filled out the papers went by so fast yet when you file them, it's like time stands still. I guess that's so you can decide if you for sure want to go through with it. Trust me, if you lived my life the past 6 yrs (of marriage alone), you too would be anxious to get it over with and move on with your life. I get the fact he will always be in my life because we have a child together and around that child we should be civil but he just makes my blood boil sometimes.
In the past 6 days, I've been out of work and taking lots of meds for this tooth abcess. I need to get in touch with a ddentist as well as file Medicaid and food stamps.
I am technically supposed to get paid this coming Friday but have only filled out a job application as well as I9 paperwork. I have yet to fill out my W4 which means I can't get paid til that is filled out. On top of all that craziness, Im only getting minimum wage at this job after being told it's based on experience and that I was "over experienced". Also I was gonna work 2 jobs but this one told me I would get definitely more than 20 hrs of work close to full time but in 2 weeks I've only worked 12 hours.
Living on my own sucks, it can be frustrating and sometimes boring. Im ready to start a new life....not just stand here in the middle.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T00:04:00.002-06:00

Im hoping all you wonderful readers had a fabulous Thanksgiving!!! Mine wasn't all that bad....not many complaints.
Wednesday evening, I was admitted to the ER due to my lower left jaw being severely swollen from a tooth abcess. While I am on the topic of Thanksgiving, I will say here Im thankful my husband showed up to sit with me. He knows how much I do not like hospitals. Anyways, the ER did not give me any kind of pain shot or antibiotic drip. So after only 20 min (or less), I.was discharged with a prescription for pain pills and antibiotics. I no longer have insurance so I was not able to afford the medicine.
Thanksgiving morning, my mom informed me she was paying for my meds and I was and am very thankful and appreciative of her for doing that. My jaw was actually worse that morning than it was the night before in the ER.
Throughout the day, I ended up eating 7 helpings of turkey, 3 helpings of mashed potatoes, 2 helpings of cranberries and a piece of pie. That is the most I've ate in quite some time. After all that my parents informed me the swelling looks to have gone down but to me I couldn't tell.
Today, lil man goes back home to his daddy. I am not sure what all I've posted here but I am no longer living at home. I am thankful I was able to have my baby for the last 3-4 days. I will miss him like crazy.
Due to all the swelling, pain and infection Im dealing with, I am not working until Monday or Tuesday. I have a work note from hospital saying I need to have some time off. I also have a friend that will try to get me a cashier job about 12 hours a week (weekend most likely) working at their company. I need some more hours and more pay.
Again, I hope you all had a great holiday and have lots to be thankful for.

Nephew and my lil man being silly

A little Thanksgiving sillyness

My lil man with his uncle (my baby brother)

My first plate out of many

Stressed yet Relaxed

2011-11-23T16:40:00.002-06:00

Im excited to share that in 59 days, I will be a single woman and away from the stressful situation I was in. We signed and filed papers yesterday.
This past Saturday, I started my first day of a new job. It was "work" but not that stressful. Actually it was quite relaxing. It kept my mind occupied.
I was missing my lil man like crazy and yet at the same time I was dealing with a husband who was attempting to keep my son from me. Apparently, he is meeting with a lawyer and getting information from him. He needed an address where I was staying since I moved out and my son would be staying. But out of respect for the people Im staying with, I wouldn't give an address. Therefore, he was trying to tell me I couldn't have him this holiday weekend.
After much debate, we agreed lil guy will sleep over at my mom's place but Id of course have him with me all day. Even that caused a debate.
On top of all this, Im still dealing with a swollen and painful jaw/abcess that will not seem to go any. Dental schools won't take me since my case is too severe for students and I no longer have insurance. This all sucks.
But I am, in the end, thankful for my main family as well as my 2nd "family" who has taken me in. They are all so great and even though I may not be able to each for Thanksgiving, I will be glad to just be around such wonderful people and have such a great support system through this trying time.

A Change In My Life

2011-11-18T16:30:00.000-06:00

My life really changed the moment I moved in with my husband. It changed again when I married him. Then yet again when a little boy was placed in my arms at 12:50am on August 10, 2006.
Today, my life is changing yet again. I am removing myself from a very stressful situation and going to start living my life the way it needs to be lived. Relaxed yet busy and with people who truly respect and care about me. I am removing myself from a home where I feel I am put down and insulted daily. I am removing myself from a home where I do not feel loved. It truly hurts because I am removing myself from a home where my son is.
I am not going to be concerned if I can live on my own because I have a big support system of friends and family who can help in any way possible even if it is to just offer a hug. Trust me, sometimes that is all I need. I am more concerned with my son's emotional being. How is he going to take all this?
I am supposed to start a job come Monday for Clothes Mentor, a women's resale clothing store but tomorrow I start a job at Wet Seal . It will be a brand new store at a local mall so I am very excited for that. I love their clothing. I know where a few of my paychecks are going to go! Ha! Hopefully, I can work there and at least another good paying place as well but for now I think I'm just going to stick to working there for right now and keep looking for a well paying job with full time hours.

I have a list of songs as of right now to say what I am going through or how I feel.

Stronger-Sara Evans
Give it Away-George Strait
He Ain't Worth Missing-Toby Keith
Going Through The Big D-Mark Chestnutt
All I Want-Darius Rucker
Leave The Pieces-The Wreckers
Trouble-Cold Play
Tattoo-Jordin Sparks
Black-Pearl Jam

Those are the select few on my brain right now.

Today, my life changes, yet again.

Happiness, where is it?

2011-11-12T19:49:00.000-06:00

Back in January, I wrote a journal entry in my private journal about a Biggest Loser episode I saw. Jillian, the trainer, asked one of the contestants, "Have you ever truly reached for anything?" At that moment in time, I stopped to reflect on my own life. It was like she was asking me that question. What have I ever reached for? What have I truly reached for? In the end, all I can think of is nothing. What do I want to reach for? Happiness. Something every human being wants in life.

There have been moments in the past 7 years where I, among others, thought I was happy. To be honest, now that I think about it, I think it was just a front, a show, just to hide the underlying emptiness I felt.

I was happy the day I got engaged but then, at the same moment, I felt very empty. Every girl dreams of a romantic proposal as well as a beautiful lavish wedding. All I got was a "so do you?" in a hotel bed when I got asked to marry him.

I was happy the day I got married but, that same day, I felt empty. My biological father dropped a big bombshell less than 12 hours before my wedding so he never showed up. Then there was all the guilt that my mother wasn't there because of my stupid choices.

I was happy the day my son was but I was left alone after he was born. I was also left during the labor process. My husband decided to go to lunch with one of his "girl" friends while I was in labor and then leave for hours on end after our son was born to check on the dogs and "get some rest". My son was in the nursery while I was left alone feeling very empty inside a labor and delivery room.

There has been a void in my life for the last 7 years. I am missing happiness. I want to be happy. Why does happiness seem so far out of reach for me?

Back in January, my husband had informed me that he was already emotionally prepared for a divorce. So, maybe that is why 9 months later, he told me he wasn't in love with me and hadn't been for a while.

A month later, he told told me he wanted to set a date to "end our marriage". If our issues weren't worked out by that date, we should call it quits. If I didn't feel empty at that point, I guess I do now. All I ever asked was some respect, trust, understanding, love, honesty, help, affection, attention and of course happiness.

Happiness, where is it???

New Transition In Life

2011-11-12T01:03:00.000-06:00

Thursday, I went into "town" to interview mid afternoon for a clothing resale shop called Clothes Mentor and after interviewing with (I'm assuming) the Assistant Manager and both the owners, I was told to do a "fashion" test. It is pretty much where they give me a basket/box of clothes that are (or should be) 2 years old or newer and told me to say yes or no to the ones I pull out. No, to the ones are old, dingy, ripped, stained, too small or just not in style. And yes....well to obviously all the ones NOT listed! And they said I did pretty well but they still wanted to "noodle" over the thought of hiring me. So, I left to carry on with my day when I received a call a few minutes later asking me to go to the mall nearby to do a 2nd interview with Auntie Anne's pretzels. I went there about an hour later (if that) and filled out a W4 along with new hire paperwork but I am still waiting to hear back from corporate on my background check to see if I am actually truly hired. I also received a call from Clothes Mentor saying they wanted to bring me on board and make me an offer. I called the clothing store back later in the evening and got the offer. I was supposed to call them back today to say yes or no to the offer but I have been in pain all day and I was hoping to hear back from Auntie Annes. Either way, I calculated it and gave an "average" hourly rate a week and I will end up with pretty much the same pay each month, if not pretty darned close, if I worked either or both jobs.

Thursday evening, on the way home, I found a lump on my lower left jaw. It has been swollen pretty much all day. Before I got in bed, I noticed it was an abcess that was under my gumline. Blah. Not good. I also have one on my upper right gum line but that one comes and goes and isn't as bad. I am not insured anymore so I called the dentist today to get information on that and usually without insurance an exam and xrays are $125 but they are willing to give those to me at $80 BUT first I have to finish ALL my antibiotics before they can see me in their office. So, until then, I am popping Ibprofen for the inflammation and antibiotics for the infection and eating anything that requires NO chewing.

So tomorrow, like I said, I am going to call the clothing store and see if the offer is still available and take it if it is. If it is, I will be moving closer to the job and in with a friend until I am able to move out on my own into my own place. It will definitely be a new experience being a "single parent" out on my own but I will make it work. I will have my friends and family there to support me.

Who Ruined My High? Oh ya....you did!

2011-11-09T17:28:00.000-06:00

The stomach bug is plaguing our home yet again. This time, it has hit my step son. He seems to be doing much better now or as he says "getting there" but I feel for him, I do because I was just there not long ago.

I had an interview with Auntie Anne's this afternoon and was BY FAR excited afterwards because even though I was thinking about saying the right things and not fidgeting, etc, I was really thinking about my son and supporting him IF I got the job. I answered the questions the way the district manager had "hoped" I would respond and was pleased with my personality and smile. "I don't care who has experience or not, I can train you to work but I can't train you to smile!" He said he would call me back today or tomorrow to let me know whether or not I got the job. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed I hear back from him. I'm really excited, I really am. I told him even though it is not my ideal job, I am doing it for my son and myself for us to live. He responded by saying he loved the drive I had. Again, I was beyond excited, I pretty much Facebooking and texting everyone about it.

I come home to 2 of the 3 dogs eating off hub's plate of food on the coffee table. Mistake 1: laying your plate on the coffee table in reach of the dogs. Mistake 2: Leaving the room. Mistake 3: Cursing that you will kill both the dogs. Mistake 4: Grabbing one of the dogs by his neck and THROWING him half way across the yard but in turn you got bit on the inner wrist so you got your pay back. Mistake 5: Blaming it ALL on only one dog thinking I think of her as a saint when in fact TWO dogs did it and I have seen the 3rd dog do it as well.

While in that argument, we went back to the argument of WHY we are getting divorced and the entire situation and he insisted that I have "never felt hurt as bad as he has". Ummm, the last 4 months I have done nothing but lied to, insulted, put down and hurt. So, yes, I have been hurt in many ways by many people but at this moment in time, I have never been hurt THIS bad. Then he proceeded to tell me I need to change or else I will be standing in a similar situation the same way I am now possibly 10 years from now. THEN told me that I need to live my life and stop letting others tell me how to live it.

Hurt by Lies

2011-11-07T12:02:00.000-06:00

I decided to no longer do the 30 days of Thanks. Although it may lift my spirits a bit, I am not in a position to have thanks right now....or am I?

I have been very hurt and lied to this past weekend and I am down in the dumps and in a funk.

Playing Catch Up

2011-10-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

Well I want to say that none of our boys did well last night.
Rangers lost to the Cardinals and my high school alumni Fighting Farmers lost their rival game, YET AGAIN. Grrrr.
So since the ending of the 30 day challenge, I have been what seems like crazy busy.
I went to Waco for a camp meeting and still need to get my resume and reference letters turned in for that. On top of all that, I am trying to plan some free photo sessions so I can get some "teens" on my portfolio as well as planning out mini sessions for the month of November. Along with all that, I have been trying to interview and get a job with Glamour Shots portrait studio. Still waiting to hear from them if I have the job or not.
Last night, I took my 5 yr old to my alumni rival game "Battle of the Axe"

Our mascot "Fighting Farmer: Big John"

The Football players

(Taken from my friend's Facebook) Waiting for our team to run through the sign

"The Band that Marches with Pride" (Our high school band)

Either way, it has been busy and tonight I am attending a Halloween Party with some friends and then Halloween is Monday so I will be taking the kiddos out for that. Then November starts. Where has this year gone?

30 Days of Me - Day 30

2011-10-21T17:28:00.000-05:00

Day 30 - Who are you?

I am a.....
Mother,
Friend/Best Friend

As well as Enemy

Sister
Aunt
Photographer
Leader/Follower

Singer
Gamer
Fanatic
Organized

And most of all and most important.....

I am me!

30 Days of Me - Day 29

2011-10-20T17:20:00.000-05:00

Day 29 - In the past month, what have you learned?

In the past month, I have learned there are times where I have to leave the room, the house, etc just to calm my nerves and hope that no one takes offense to it.

A big thing I have learned is to calm all my senses and think about what I am about to say before really saying it. As well as saying what I am really thinking and not just dancing around the matter. Doing that has really helped me have conversations with people I may not have had conversations with before.

I have learned a bit more about myself than what I already knew, how to express myself is just one way but another is NOT being afraid of expressing myself. I have learned that being myself is not a bad thing, that we are all individuals and that is what makes me different. I have learned that there are people out there that do care and want to help so I have learned to open up to them and share what I am feeling and accept their help.

More things I have learned are ways to make myself happy. Whether that be taking a really hot long shower, going out for drinks with the girls, pinning on Pinterest, reading a book, playing Solitaire or Tetris on my phone in a quiet room, or just watching a movie on Netflix. I have learned that *I* have to be happy to.

30 Days of Me - Day 28

2011-10-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

Day 28 - Your favorite movie.

My all time favorite movie is While You Were Sleeping.

I am a big Sandra Bullock fan and a sucker for romantic comedies. I have been watching this movie forever and I still try to watch it every Christmas holiday. It reminds me that love finds you in the most odd moments or situations but it shows you who you truly are and to be honest with your heart!

State Fair Break

2011-10-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

The Texas State Fair is one of THE biggest fairs in the country. I was thankful enough to have a friend invite me to go with them yesterday for a break away from it all. It was in the mid 60s all day which would have been nice if it wasn't for the crazy ridiculous wind. It also would've been a BETTER day had my camera battery not lasted only about an hour. I have 3 batteries around this house and only one of them is a piece of crap and I ended up having THAT one in my camera at the time. No worries, as soon as I got home, I put a big giant "X" on it so that way I know it is the bad battery and won't use it anymore.

The photos posted below were all taken with my cell phone so excuse the not so great quality.

Bumblebee showed up to the fair...he even had his Autobot Logo on the tires and the side

All in all, it was a great day at the fair and I ended it with a crazy wild ride on the ferris wheel. I do NOT do heights very well. I can do roller coasters and such but not something that SLOWLY goes through the air and occasionally makes stops even if you are the very tip top. But, now I can say I have done that and that is one thing I can mark off my bucket list (even if it wasn't on there to begin with!)

Looking forward to next year.

30 Days of Me- Day 27

2011-10-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

Day 27 - A photo of yourself a year ago and yourself now. How have you changed?

The most obvious way I have changed would be my weight for sure. My hair is longer and darker and I don't have that same phone! Ha.

30 Days of Me - Day 26

2011-10-17T19:22:00.000-05:00

Day 26 - A letter to yourself 10 years ago

Dear 17-year old Teresa,
You will be leaving high school in less than 3 months and then reality will set in. You will be off to college and that is where your life will start.
Word of advice: Do not rush into anything. Take your time with everything including school work. You will have the rest of your life to do whatever you want; when you want.
Guys will come along and try to sweet talk you into anything but please, go with your gut and listen to your instincts. They all aren't "nice guys". When the nice guys come around, stop your irrational reasoning as to why you can't be with them and just be with them. Live your life at that moment. Stop living in the "what if" moment or the future and live in the "here and now" moment.
Eventually a guy will come along and try to be your knight in shining armor. You will marry him and have a son with him. That son will be the light of your life but you will not be happy at all during that marriage. My advice to you would to not move in with him when he offers. Get to know him a bit more and learn who he is. Then when you know for sure that you know him, then you can move in with him. Take a little bit longer to plan your wedding to him and be sure that is what you really want. If you are still not happy after all that time, just move on. Don't stay in it too long for the wrong reasons.
You will know true happiness eventually and when you do you will smile on the outside as well as the outside and in your heart. You will think about that person every day and miss them more than everything. You will ache when you are apart from that person and you will ache when you say goodbye until next time. Take that slow as well but embrace the happiness and never, never, never forget why you fell in love with that person and just how much they mean to you at that very moment.
From your future self

30 Days of Me - Day 25

2011-10-16T11:39:00.000-05:00

Day 25 - What is in your purse/bag?

I'm soon going to have to find a new 30 day challenge being as this may be the first one I have finished! Ha. Only 5 more days to go.
So, today, what is in my purse?!? Wow....all I can say is TOO MUCH CRAP! Just like my make up bag, it too is over flowing.

Without looking, I can tell you have I have a wallet, 3 lipglosses, 1 tube of chapstick, business cards, cash, debit card, receipts, a pumpkin patch flyer, some feminine products for when the time may arise and I am not home and A LOT...I repeat A LOT of change.

30 Days of Me - Day 24

2011-10-15T11:45:00.000-05:00

Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to you

This photo means the world to me. My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer years ago and when I was pregnant she didnt think she could finish my son's baby quilt that she hand sews for all the new grandbabies. She made the quilt but there are areas that she didnt finish but it doesn't bother me because I didnt know if she was gonna make it through to see her great grandson. This photo was taken in April of 2007 when my son was 7 months old. This is the first time they have met. I am proud to say that my grandmother beat the nasty cancer she had only for it to come back but she is fighting harder and harder every day and I love her very much.

Sick Cycle Carousel

2011-10-14T11:25:00.001-05:00

The Texas Rangers are taking names and kicking @$$ this season yet I feel all the curveballs being thrown are in my direction.
I try NOT to take pride in being a nice person or having a great heart because I will be dead honest and tell you that I can seriously be a %&@#& when the time calls for it and I can seriously rip you a new one if I feel you deserve it.
I have been told by at least one person in specific that I am a great mother, I have a good heart and I can be a really nice person. But yet at the same time I get belittled, put down, insulted and joked about. How is one supposed to take all those compliments seriously when they are pretty much being thrown at the same window they came in from?!
I am not asking to be complimented every day because I too can joke how bad I look, how fat I feel, how big my thighs or my nose are, how messy my hair is, or how just awful I did my make up. BUT, it is okay to joke with me about those things at the same time I am joking about them. Making a joke that someone looks like crap when someone feels like they are on their deathbed and KNOWING they look like crap is not funny. Especially if you are that person's significant other/spouse/partner (whatever). I don't expect anyone to crack a lie either and say the person is beautiful or handsome or whatever the case may be....unless that is truly what comes from your heart.
I have been put down and then brought back up just to be knocked back down again. I no longer want to feel that way. I want someone that will wake up next to me and even though we both have morning breath, kiss me good morning. I want someone that will give me soup, tissues, medicine and still curl up on the couch with me or in the bed with me and watch TV or movies with me when I am sick; not afraid to get sick themselves. I want someone who will take my hand when I am at a crossroads in life and tell me they will never let go and they will be by my side until the path has been chosen. I want someone to tell me they care and tell me they understand and TRULY mean it.
I am at that fork in the road right now in life. I have friends that share their opinions and give me their advice. I also have those friends that just sit and listen contently without interruptions and lets me vent and cry and in the end just holds me and tells me that they are sorry I am going through all this and wishes they can do more to help but the most important thing is that they are there and not going anywhere anytime soon.
I had a friend back in high school make me a mixed CD...yes back then they were CD's not tapes! Ha. Either way, there is this song on there that I completely forgot about and haven't heard since I got that CD YEARS and YEARS ago and it is now on repeat in my car. What song is it, you ask? Lifehouse-Sick Cycle Carousel The song means completely different to others than it does for me. The lead singer says the meaning of the song is that the carousel that he cannot get off of is the continued trap of sin, and the final realization that he can be saved by grace alone, and can't do it on his own. Others see it as a guy chasing after a girl and she keeps putting him down or leading him on. But to me it means that you're in that point in your relationship in which you must make a choice if you are going stay together or not. The relationship is not going to so well and it's just a cycle of bad decisions and you have to make the choice of whether or not you're going to make the right decision. Hence the name "sick cycle carousel" because it's like making the same mistakes over and over and never really fixing them.
Personally, I am ready to get off this carousel of pain and unhappiness.

If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
Well here we go now one more time

'Cause I try to climb your steps
I try to chase you down
I try to see how low I can get down to the ground
I try to earn my way
I try to change this mind
You better believe that I am trying to beat this

So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time

'Cause I try to climb your steps
I try to chase you down
I try to see how low I can get down to the ground
And i try to earn my way
I try to change this mind
You better believe that I am trying to beat this,

So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this

Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle yeah

So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

When will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel

One day, one day I will finally be off this carousel that just keeps spinning further and further out of control and when I do, I know it will take me a while to walk in the right direction after all that spinning but I will find my footing and move on to a much smoother ride that goes in a straight line and not backwards or in circles.

30 Days of Me - Day 23

2011-10-14T11:03:00.000-05:00

Day 23 - Something you never leave the house without.

Today is a simple day! I never leave the house without my cell phone. It has my GPS on it incase my GPS in my car doesn't have the place I am looking for. It has all my contacts incase I do get lost because neither of my GPS's are working so I can call my hubby or whoever else that isn't as directionally challenged as myself. It also has a camera and video camera on it incase I am out and about at Walmart and just want to pull up a lawn chair and just start snapping photos/videos for The People of Walmart. On top of that it also has a clock so I know what time it is and it has many apps on it to tell me where the cheapest gas is, Kids Eat Free restaurants are, what the weather is, etc.
So it comes in VERY handy and I TRY my hardest not to leave the house without it!

30 Days of Me - Day 22

2011-10-13T16:21:00.000-05:00

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone and why.

When asking myself "what makes me different from everyone?" Nothing seriously comes to mind.

I like country music but so does a lot of other people.

I have a son but so do many other people.

I live in Texas but, again, so does a lot of others.

I could tell you that I am a very independent person; yet I depend on others. But, in the end I am not sure I am the only one with that trait.

So, therefore, I will not sit with my hand on my chin doing the thinking man any longer and I will just tell you what makes me different from everyone else.

BECAUSE I AM ME!!!!

30 Days of Me - Day 21

2011-10-12T20:27:00.002-05:00

Day 21 - Short term goals for this month and why

My short term goals for this month are as follows:
* Find a full time job because I will sooner or later be divorced and on my own

* Find a place of my own because the reason I listed above

* Find out who my true friends are because I will be needing some real ones sooner or later.

30 Days of Me - Day 20

2011-10-11T14:56:00.000-05:00

Day 20 - A letter to your parents.

Mom,

I love you! You are one of the strongest women I know. Why? Well you were a single mom for a while to 3 kids and on top of that getting re-married and adding another child to the brood along with raising one grandchild along with one for at least a year. You are a true inspiration.

I love you for so many reasons! Because you taught me to respect, you allowed me to be a kid, you disciplined me with love in your heart, you never gave up when I felt like doing so, you made me laugh and smile and you loved me unconditionally. You always believed in me and you never placed me under any conditions and even through my darkest times you were always my sunshine.

30 Days of Me- Day 19

2011-10-10T12:11:00.000-05:00

Day 19 - Your nicknames and why you have them or who gave them to you.

This post is like opening a can of worms. I will try to list them all and the correct reasons as to why I have them.

Mommy-because my son calls me that

Mama- hubby calls me that around my son

Babe/Baby-hubby calls me that as well as some of my really close girl friends

Teri-my mom call(ed/s) me that

Teesa-because my sister couldn't call me Teresa

Ter Bear-a friend in high school called me that

I think that is all of them.

30 Days of Me - Day 18

2011-10-09T07:35:00.014-05:00

Day 18 - A letter to someone you miss.

In the almost 28 years I have been placed on this Earth, I have lost many. Lost as in forever sent to be Angels. Lost as in no longer friends or in contact with.

I can sit here and think of many off the top of my head that I miss. I cannot write a letter.

Angels I am missing: My great grandparents Enderle as they always had a way of making me laugh. My Uncle Jim who was just a free spirit. My Uncle Rex...the Firework King! My Grammy who was just about as stubborn and hard headed as myself...if not more! My friends Kristen, Emmett and John who were taken from this world just way too young. And to the many church family I had met over the past years that gave me advice, hugs and smiles that have gone to be angels.

Friends I am missing: I will not name them all but if we were friends at one point and are no longer....then you know I am talking about you. That is, if we are no longer friends because we just lost contact with one another or because we just fell further apart.

30 Days of Me - Day 17

2011-10-08T11:32:00.005-05:00

Day 17 - Your celebrity crush.

THIS is my ultimate celebrity crush. He is just beautiful inside and out as well as a great actor!

30 Days of Me - Day 16

2011-10-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

Day 16 - A photo that makes you smile.

*Phew.....all caught up FINALLY*

These are photos of 2 of my 3 dogs. This picture always makes me giggle. Why....well are we looking at the same photo. Doggie tushies! Sticking out from underneath a futon!

I was working on the computer one day and looked around as the dogs were awful quiet (ruh row!) and saw this and INSTANTLY grabbed my phone and snapped a photo.

Then again, really any photos of my pups make me smile.
Look below for more:

We don't have many rules on accepting dogs into our family except one major rule: YOU MUST HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY!!! We DO NOT accept boring dogs! As you can tell!!!!

Stomach Flu

2011-10-07T09:06:00.001-05:00

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the 30 Days of Me Challenge. I was dealing with a 24 hour stomach flu that actually really kept me down about 36 hours and still has me dehydrated half of yesterday and so far this morning. Black outs are not fun but neither is staying in bed all day either. It may sound fun to those who are always on the go but trust me......once you are in bed for almost 12-24 hours, you are ready to get up and do laps!
I am going to attempt to catch up now on all the days I have missed.

30 Days of Me - Day 15

2011-10-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

Day 15 - Put your Ipod/MP3 player on shuffle-the first 10 songs.

1. Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf

2. Bed of Roses - Bon Jovi

3. Don't Talk to Strangers - Rick Springfield

4. Womanizer - Britney Spears

5. Colder Weather - Zac Brown Band

6. Dirty Dancer - Enrique Iglesias

7. Honey Bee - Blake Shelton

8. F*ing Perfect - Pink

9. Ironic - Alanis Morrisette

10. Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum

There is quite a variety. I can't wait to see your list so I can download some of your tunes.

Although, do you ever put it on shuffle and hear a song and ask yourself "when the heck did I download that song?" Ha!

30 Days of Me - Day 14

2011-10-05T13:19:00.000-05:00

Day 14 - Something you love about yourself.

My eyes! I love my eyes! I have always loved my eyes! They change color according to either what I wear or my mood and heck, they photograph very very well!
These photos were taken by Leslie Spurlock Photography back in 2009 and I am not sure why they have lines through them....maybe the upload process or something but just ignore those.

30 Days of Me - Day 13

2011-10-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

To whom it may concern:
(You know who you are if you are reading this!)

I love you and we've been through our fair share of ups and downs, we have even had our disagreements on certain aspects of my life as well. I want you to know that you did teach me some things along the way and I am grateful that I was fortunate enough to have you in my life.

You cannot take back the hurtful things you have said. Yes, sometimes, as humans, we say things we may not mean but the things you have said.....you would only say if you truly meant them.

I really trusted in you and was shocked when things didn’t go how I expected. It made me trust less in you and made me really doubt my whole world. I know this is not all about you and I need to take responsibility in this as well. We have to learn from our experiences, we have to grow from them or we are forced to learn greater lessons because we are then just repeating things.

I do hope one day that you will find happiness because everyone does deserve to have something dear in their life to hold on to.

30 Days of Me - Day 12

2011-10-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

Day 12 - A photo of where you grew up and your favorite memory.

I grew up in Lewisville, Texas. Home of the Fighting Farmers!!! My favorite memory...wow!!! I have many. I would have to say of the many, homecoming parades, Battle of the Axe games, just cruising around town with friends and definitely meeting all sorts of crazy and new people at the schools were the best memories ever!

30 Days of Me - Day 11

2011-10-02T19:59:00.001-05:00

Day 11 - What is in your make up bag?

What is in my make up bag? What ISN'T in my make up bag?

At the moment, I have a toothbrush, a razor, and all my make up. I have fondation sponges, foundation, concealer, powder, all my eyeshadows and eyeshadow pallet, blushes, bronzers, and 2 make up bags inside the big make up bag. One bag holds all my make up brushes and the other holds all my blushes/eyeshadows together.

30 Days of Me - Day 10

2011-10-01T07:56:00.000-05:00

Day 10 - A photo of your best friend and what makes them your best friend.

My best friend and her hubby. She is my best friend because I have known her for a very long time. She also knows me even though we have yet to personally meet. She knows what makes me happy and what doesn't and she does not judge me. She is there to listen to me vent or just chat about random stuff and I will do the same for her.
I cannot wait for the day our internet friendship blossoms into a person friendship after meeting in person!!!

Aimes I love ya babe!

30 Days of Me - Day 9

2011-09-30T07:33:00.041-05:00

Day 9 - Your definition of love

This is like defining the un-definable. There are many definitions to love. I would typically say my definition of love is not judging and very caring and someone who will be there to hold your hand through the tough times.

But today, after going through what I have gone through, I would definitely have to define love as the unspeakable. Speaking only through your eyes and your heart and knowing what it is the other person is feeling or saying without truly even saying it. As you get older and mature, love may not be easy to come across because you are no longer in that crush or lust phase. You have been there and know the difference and you do not stand to play games or get walked all over. Love happens in many forms and many places and many languages but TRUE LOVE that is a language and a world of it's very own. It is not necessarily something you expect or appear as you want it but it is there.

True love is unconditional. It has zero expectations. True love isn't how you feel about someone but how you feel when you are with that person. It is that smile that comes across your face as you just think of the person or read something from them or just receive a phone call. True love is falling asleep with the spiritual feeling of their arms wrapped around you. It is the empathetic bond or connection you have with someone even when you are not together. True love can also come in the form of feeling pain. Pain because your heart is aching when you are not with them. The pain of having to say good bye until you see them again. The pain as you are pulling away after a kiss or a hug. The pain as the tears roll down your cheeks because all you want is to be with that person. True love is also beautiful inside and out. When you see an older couple walking down the sidewalk still holding hands and laughing. When you see an expecting mother and the daddy to be is rubbing and kissing the belly.

True love is when you cannot imagine spending the rest of your life without them.

30 Days of Me - Day 8

2011-09-29T09:04:00.000-05:00

Day 8 - Something you hate about yourself and what you can do to change it.

Are we really on Day 8 already?!?! Wow!

I can think right off the top of my head one thing I hate about myself. That thing would be the way I think of myself. I have the mind of an eating disorder patient. I have lost 25 pounds and anytime I eat and I get full...not comfortable...but FULL...I feel like I gained it all back. I look at myself and see a bulge of stomach and think I am fat. I used to have a really low self esteem and after losing the weight, I was finally able to wear a bikini this summer with confidence but now I'm starting to look at myself again as fat. I know I am not. I tell myself that all the time. Each morning, though, I have to stand on the scale and then each night before I go to bed. I need to just take the scale OUT of reach and out of sight.
So, I think what I will do is make a challenge for myself to NOT weigh myself for a week and then just to eat whatever I want but not to FILL up on it but to eat enough to where I am comfortable and each time I feel like I am fat or say I am fat, I will take a walk or jog around 5 blocks! I think that is self discipline enough!

30 Days of Me - Day 7

2011-09-28T08:26:00.000-05:00

Day 7 - Your idea of your dream wedding (or if you are married, what was your wedding like)

I am...have been married but honestly it was nowhere near my dream wedding. It small and near a beach...not on it. It was in the fall but felt like summer.

My dream wedding would be in the fall. The color scheme would consist of purple and orange. They are a great color combination and resemble fall perfectly.

It would be super cute for the bridesmaids....even myself to wear boots but it isn't something that has to be done. Especially if the groom isn't into the idea.

The bouquets would be gorgeous with both purple and orange flowers in them. Maybe orange roses with purple lily's.

Center pieces could consist of twigs/branches with some beading hanging from them or even flowers on them. Maybe even wine glasses upside down with a flower under neath and a candle on top. What cute ideas.

I am unsure on the dress but I know I would love for it to be strapless or have one shoulder and a gorgeous train. October in Texas is always unpredictable but I don't want to be hot or uncomfortable. I also would love a sash/ribbon on my dress in either purple or orange.

Even just a simple wedding cake but still elegant and big enough to feed everyone. Then again, let's be realistic....not everyone eats a piece of cake.

An outdoor wedding would be great if the weather agreed. Especially if you can smell the crisp fall leaves in the air and the temps are just right. Instead of rose petals down aisle or an aisle runner. It would be fun to have pumpkins lining each chair aisle with maybe BIG orange/purple balloons tied to them. Or even vintage lanterns next to each aisle.

Maybe even do a candy/sweets bar and have like fall colored candy as well as other sweets.

Maybe even have the reception in a barn or something similar with like paper lanterns and candles everywhere. Let's just hope we don't burn the place down!

The bridesmaids in either purple or orange...or even a mix of both and even the groom/groomsmen wearing orange/purple ties/vests.

I am sure there are many details I am missing but that is gist of my dream wedding. I want it to be big. Big to me is anything close to 100 guests and at least 3-5 bridesmaids/groomsmen. My wedding only consisted of my in laws and a ring bearer and my brother. I want to be able to do the bouquet/garter toss, toasts, dancing, etc. And I would love for the groom to be involved in a lot of the decision making. It is his day too and I want his opinions and we can compromise!

Lend A Helping Hand

2011-09-27T17:22:00.001-05:00

For those that know me, know I moved in with my hubby only 3 months after we started dating back in May of 2004. If I could go back in time, I would suggest to NEVER do that with anyone else unless you know the person very well and are more than certain you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. For those that also know me, know I have been pretty much a stay at home mom and housewife for the past 7 years. For the longest time, I thought the only reason my husband let me move in with him and married me was just for me to take care of the house and the kids. There are times, I will admit, that he does load the dishwasher, wash some dishes, do some laundry and sometimes pick up around the house. To me that is just light cleaning. Cleaning really means using cleaning products and some elbow grease.
Last night, I was told that "since the separation," it seems I haven't "wanted to help out around here." *Jaw drop* Yes, that is what happened. I was in shock. My response was "okay, so what have I done the past 7 years?!?!? Yes, stayed home, took care of the kids and cleaned the house while he slept and worked.
I hate calling people out over the internet when I know, in fact, they can read every word that is written here but in all honesty, I am done hiding my feelings and emotions. I was and still am very hurt.
So, what did I do today? I cleaned.
* Ran the dishwasher
* Cleaned the kitchen island/bar (the thing in the middle of the kitchen)
* Vacuumed the living room
* Dusted all furniture in the living room
* Swept the kitchen and cleaned the kitchen floor mat
* Vacuumed the stairs (yes, I did!)
* Emptied the guest bathroom trash can
* Washed and dried a load of blankets
* Cleaned the dining room table
* Cleaned the master bathroom vanity/counters/sinks as well as the toilet and the mirror
* Cleaned the washing machine

The coffee table before: Hubby's clothes along with some of my son's pajamas. Hubby's water bottle and his dinner plate from last night (ya, gross). And all my son's markers/colors and books.

The after. Only took about 5 minutes to do that.

Hubby's end table by couch BEFORE. This is ridiculous

The end table afterwards. Another 5 minutes of cleaning. Yes, still quite a bit of stuff on it but it is all stuff that he really needs to go through but it is organized to say the least.

The before master bathroom vanity. The hair clippers hubby used this weekend still laying out along with a pair of his shorts on the counter. Everything on the right side of the counter is my stuff and all the stuff on the left is his. You can't see it in the photo but his side was worse because he shaves and trims his goatee/beard over his counter/sink so there was hair EVERYWHERE. Also on his counter/sink was blood stains from weeks ago when he cut his ear at the boat shop and never cleaned it up.

The master bathroom after. This, in fact, did not take 5-10 minutes but actually about 20 along with cleaning the mirror and the toilet.

So after all this cleaning that I have done today, I just want to show people that I do do things around here and that I do lend a helping hand. I do not have a job at the moment but in honesty, I'd rather only clean up the messes I make because there are at least 2 others that live in this house MORE THAN CAPABLE of cleaning their messes as well as picking up a vacuum or cleaning solution/product and just volunteering 5-30 minutes of their life to help clean.
I am just wondering what will happen when I do leave this house after everything is finalized. Will it look like one of those houses on the show "Hoarders" or will hubby find a "live in housekeeper" to do the dirty work? (Literally!)
Either way, I am putting my foot down and saying that I will no longer clean anything unless it is my mess or a mess of someone/something that is not capable of cleaning the mess.

30 Days of Me - Day 6

2011-09-27T07:53:00.000-05:00

Day 6 - A song that has a special meaning to you.

Theory of A Deadman - All or Nothing

30 Days of Me - Day 5

2011-09-26T07:46:00.008-05:00

Day 5 - A photo of someplace you went to TWO years ago.

My brother and I took a spontaneous weekend trip to San Antonio, Texas 2 years ago. It was only like a 48 hour trip but hey it was fun, we did a lot and shared a lot of laughs, learned some lessons and saw a lot. I would love to do it again sometime in the future. I love mini-vacations with my brother.

30 Days of Me - Day 4

2011-09-25T12:09:00.001-05:00

Day 4 - A habit you wish you could break.

There are many habits I wish to break. I used to bite my nails and I finally broke that habit. But lately it has been munching on crushed ice....I know it is bad for your teeth but sometimes it relaxes me. I dont know why. Another habit is turning down comments or compliments about how nice, beautiful, or a great person I am. I just dont believe it at all times. I need to learn to take it as a compliment, blush, say thank you and move on. Not bring up this "oh whatever, you are just saying that" type stuff.
Here is to breaking habits!

30 Days of Me - Day 3

2011-09-24T12:08:00.001-05:00

Day 3 - A photo of you and your friends.

I cannot find any photos of me and any friends anywhere on my computer. Does that mean I have no friends?? Maybe not, just means I am always out having a good time with friends and not concerned with taking pictures.

30 Days of Me - Day 2

2011-09-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Day 2 - The meaning behind your name or your blogger name.

The meaning behind my name is still unclear to me. I know my mother has told me many times but with a short term memory, it's not something I quite remember. But, I can tell you the meaning behind my blogger name/title "I Sound Like My Mother"! I have a 5 year old and there are many times I tell him something, yell at him in a way or just flat out say something to myself and I end up going "OH MY GOSH, I sounded like my mother" tone and all!

30 Days of Me - Day 1

2011-09-22T12:05:00.001-05:00

Day 1 - A photo of yourself and 10 interesting facts about yourself.

Thanks to Truelove Photography for this photo!

10 interesting facts about me....hmmmm. *Putting my thinking cap on for this one* Why is it, facts about yourself, are always hard to come up with. Besides the usual of course....yes I have hazel eyes and brown hair but you can tell that by looking at the photo!

10. I like my showers so hot, the walls sweat and the mirrors steam up. Yes, I know it isn't good on my hair/scalp but when it comes time to washing my hair, I turn the water temperature down.

9. I can say the alphabet backwards.....or at least I used to be able to.

8. I am not a girly girl and I like to play with Hot Wheels and get dirty but I do still like to dress up and wear make up and do my hair.

7. I like to "test" toys at toy stores just to see what they do, how loud they are, how annoying they can be and, of course, just to play with them.

6. As one of my friends said once, "I am a Texas transplant" meaning I was not born here but as some say...I got here as fast as I could.

5. I wanted to be a photo journalist because I love photography so much but now I am inching more and more to wanting to be a beauty consultant or make up artist because my make up bag is so full it won't close. I love make up.

4. I will not wear nail polish on my finger nails because it will be chipped no matter what the top coat is the following day. I will though, paint my toe nails about once every month to a different color.

3. No matter how hot or how cold it is inside or outside, I will always sleep tucked into the covers like an eskimo. Yes, I still believe if I have an arm or leg out, the monster under the bed will snatch it!

2. I find that coloring in coloring books is very relaxing.

1. Last, but not least, I always wanted to be a country singer and was in choir since about the 3rd grade I do believe.

30 Days of Me

2011-09-22T11:42:00.001-05:00

I have, in the past, ATTEMPTED to do MANY 30 day challenges and found myself unable to complete them because, well let's be honest....I get bored doing it or I just completely forget and get busy doing what I call my LIFE! Ha
So I am combining many and making myself one.

It would a) let my readers/followers into my life just a little bit more and b) get me blogging every day.

Day 1 - A photo of yourself and 10 interesting facts about yourself.

Day 2 - The meaning behind your name or your blogger namer.

Day 3 - A photo of you and your friends.

Day 4 - A habit you wish you could break.

Day 5 - A photo of someplace you went to TWO years ago.

Day 6 - A song that has a special meaning to you.

Day 7 - Your idea of your dream wedding (or if you are married, what was your wedding like)

Day 8 - Something you hate about yourself and what you can do to change it.

Day 9 - Your definition of love

Day 10 - A photo of your best friend and what makes them your best friend.

Day 11 - What is in your make up bag?

Day 12 - A photo of where you grew up and your favorite memory.

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 14 - Something you love about yourself.

Day 15 - Put your Ipod/MP3 player on shuffle-the first 10 songs.

Day 16 - A photo that makes you smile.

Day 17 - Your celebrity crush.

Day 18 - A letter to someone you miss.

Day 19 - Your nicknames and why you have them or who gave them to you.

Day 20 - A letter to your parents.

Day 21 - Short term goals for this month and why

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone and why.

Day 23 - Something you never leave the house without.

Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to you

Day 25 - What is in your purse/bag?

Day 26 - A letter to yourself 10 years ago

Day 27 - A photo of yourself a year ago and yourself now. How have you changed?

Day 28 - Your favorite movie.

Day 29 - In the past month, what have you learned?

Day 30 - Who are you?

By the time I reach day 30, I hope to answer that question. Maybe that is the point of all this....to find my "true self" like my husband said I should. Maybe to see what I can or need to change in my life to make myself a better person and turn me into someone that I can make happy and that I love.
I hope you will join me along this journey and maybe give some advice or comments along the way as well as maybe start your own blog of this 30 day challenge so I can get some insight into your life as well. Will you join me?

Bucket List---Where I am Now?

2011-09-22T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, it’s been a long time but I've had a lot happen since May. I was even writing in my actual journal/diary last night and realized I hadn't wrote in that since May either. Wow, what did I do this summer?!?!

So, again, in May this year, I revised my bucket list and I feel it is time to update it a bit.

Right… here’s the list and I will update any I can!

My original list included some things that only Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson would SET OUT to make sure they did just to cross them off their list. If I had their kind of money and their kind of motivation, I may do the same. Therefore, I am going to "x" off all the "impossible" (at the moment) items like "swimming with dolphins", "going on safaris", "see a Broadway play", "travel to other countries and continents", "meet the Princes", etc. I am, therefore, only going to keep the "realistic" ideals.

1. Learn to Ice Skate
2. Volunteer at a wildlife exhibit
3. Participate in a 5k race
4. Attend my high school reunion
5. Test drive/drive a sports car
6. Donate toys during the holidays
7.Take a trip with my mom
8. Cook at least one recipe from every cookbook I own
9. Dye my hair blonde
10. Ride a mechanical bull
11 Complete a 1000 piece puzzle
12 Go on a Girls' Trip
13. Go on a solo vacation
14. Be Debt Free
15. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
16. See the Circus
17. Visit Colorado
18. Go on a Helicopter Ride
19. Learn to drive a jet ski
20. Learn to back the boat in the water as well as take it out of the water
21. Ride in a limo
22 Ride in a train
23. Go to Disney World
24. Visit all 50 states (11/50)
25. Fly a kite
26. Learn to juggle
27. Solve the Rubik's cube
28. Build a Habitat for Humanity Home
29. Milk a cow
30. Go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve
31. Go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
32. Drive a '66 Mustang Convertible
33. Own a few Horses
34. Ride EVERY Roller Coaster at Six Flags
35. Ride in the front of a roller coaster.
36. Bungee Jump
37. Learn to swim from one end of the pool to the other completely under water.
38. Take one photo a day for a whole year (365 day project)
39. Watch a NASCAR race (in person and not on TV)
40. Have 1000+ followers on my blog!

I will do my best to keep this one updated. But you can follow my previous list with items already completed here (just click that link).

I On A Rocky Roller Coaster

2011-09-22T00:25:00.000-05:00

5 years of marriage....would have been 6 next month all came to a crashing hault last week. In these last 5 years, it has been one bumpy road after the other but no one said it was gonna be easy. I know, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make it look so simple, along with acting and raising HOW many kids now?? I know they aren't married but, darn it, they might as well be.
Weight loss...sometimes weight gain, depression, emotionally unstable, feeling of boredness and just wanting out. That is all that I have felt lately. I no longer want to feel this way. I tell myself the same thing my husband has been telling me lately "Things happen for a reason". What, may I ask, is the reason for all this? To find my true self-my husband thinks. To find true happiness-my husband thinks. What do I think?? I really can't answer that, to be honest. Happiness, yes, maybe but my true self?? Maybe I need to do an "Eat, Pray, Love" moment and travel the world to find my true self and my true happiness. Ya, if I had the money for that!
You know they say sometimes when you are about to die you see your life flash before your eyes. It is almost that way when you realize that your relationship or your marriage is coming to an end....you see your entire marriage flash before your eyes. What could I have done differently? Said differently? Is it the way I acted? The way I dressed? I knew I shouldn't have used the bathroom in front of him! Ha! I knew we should've gone on more dates together or took some sort of cooking class, art class or dance class together to bring us closer. All these things no longer matter. What matters is gaining the strength to move on and support not only yourself but your child(ren).

Everything will be okay....eventually! I have to keep telling myself that. I have to keep telling myself that I have some EXCELLENT and BEAUTIFUL friends full of advice and shoulders to cry on and ears to lend when I just need to rant. Without them during this painful time, I am not sure where I would be at the moment.
I wish the pain to just move on and move on faster. I am not sure how much longer I can endure such emotion.

In the end, it will all be okay and this experience will not only make me stronger but make me a better person.

2011-09-14T23:40:00.000-05:00

You arent supposed to look back on your life but I know many of you do. You wonder "what ifs" or "what could have beens" or even "what the hells". Ha!
I look on mine and ask none of those but "why?". Why did I do that? Why didn't I do that? Why did I say that? Why was I friends with that person? Why didn't I get to know that person? Well...you get the point.
Now in my life, Im pretty much asking myself the same things. Yes life is too short to be pondering things you cannot go back and change but maybe change is a good thing. I have changed who I was many times for many people that I start to wonder who I really am.
I am a wife. I am a mother. But am I truly anything else I say I am or the person I act like?
The person I am and have always been is the person I want to become again. I want to set myself free from these chains and be the funny, spontaneous, outgoing, talkative, poetic, soulful, beautiful person I was then. Im tired of being locked in these chains. Im tired of acting like I like someone when truly I am very blunt person and will tell you where to stick it if I don't like you. I am tired of acting happy when deep down my soul and my heart are aching and crying.
I want to be that girl that never stops laughing. I want to be that girl that gets told to shut up because I never stop talking. I want to be that girl who.ia.not afraid to make friends with home random stranger on the street and go to Walmarts or Targets on a weekend just to play with the toys or test drive bikes up and down aisles.I want to be that girl that will take any color.of.paint and paint the town with it because I am a very colorful person.
I want to be set free of all this pain and anger.
I want to fulfill some, if not, all my dreams as well as try to make there's dreams come true.
This anger, pain and hurt I feel inside want out but things need to change for those feelings inside to change.

*sorry for any typos...written via mobile device*

Let Us Not Forget

2011-09-11T08:46:00.002-05:00

Pinterest's Words To Live By

2011-09-02T09:02:00.000-05:00

Again, I am an addict of Pinterest. I drink my coffee while pinning after dropping the kid off to school.

I find these cute, so true to me quotes that I have to pin them to remind myself. Maybe I should make a quote wall in one of the rooms in my house and print these so I can see them all the time!

Hyper Puppy, Loose Teeth and Yet Still 100* outside

2011-09-02T08:33:00.004-05:00

Oh wow, we are strolling right into September here, huh? And, may I ask WHY do we Texans still have over 100* temps? It is not fair and not right to say September while pouring sweat.

Here are some recent photos of our sweet new bundle, Speckles, at 11 weeks old. She is a beast, I tell you. Eating all 3 dishes of dog food (I have 2 other dogs) and I tell her she is like a 2 yr old hyped up on pixie sticks! But she just melts your heart when you look at her.
School has been in session for 2 weeks now and my child has had more warnings in his school folder than he has good stickers! Ha! Yes, I believe I have one of THOSE kids! He will be either the one that sleeps during class or the one that talks and is the class clown/smart @$$ but either way he will be MY child and I will love him either way. Only because I was a mixture of those all through school. I had my good and bad days!
My baby also lost his VERY FIRST BABY tooth yesterday while eating a snack at school. They were even so kind to put it in a tooth shaped container. Now, the trick is to TAKE this contraption from the death grip of my child so the "tooth fairy" can leave him something special.

Pin The Tail on Teachers' Gifts

2011-08-24T15:39:00.000-05:00

I am a Pinterest addict and lately with my littlest one in school, I have been window shopping for some teacher's gifts for his teacher. I would like to do one during each holiday and a big one at the end of the year. Yes, I want to be one of THOSE moms!

Many of these ideas come with tutorials and/or free printables if you want to be one of THOSE moms with me!

Except lil man's teacher's name is "White" so I would do a "W"

Typical Day of a Stay At Home Mom

2011-08-23T18:29:00.001-05:00

Typically in a day, I will let the dogs outside, make breakfast for my lil man, watch some TV, surf the net...maybe blog once in a while, make lil man some lunch, watch more tv, play with the dogs, run some errands, surf the net a bit more and then cook dinner and watch TV/movies with the family then off to bed to do it all over again.

The past 2 days, I have had a son in school. I still cannot believe my baby is in school. Today, I allowed my husband to walk him to class and when he got back in the truck he looked at me and said "Now, I know if I choked up a bit, you were bawling your eyes out!" Give it, I did not BAWL but I did cry many times yesterday.

During the past few days, whether on the computer or on my phone, my Facebook family and friends have been there to keep my mind occupied. I have had many laughs as well as a few tears but either way, they have been there for me!

Typically by the end of the day, a relaxing long shower will help me ease the stresses of the day. In fact, it helped a lot today after loading several things from our old house which we THOUGHT we sold (they backed out). Also, when I picked up lil man from school he seemed to not want to talk about his day but I found out that was because he was a bit embarrassed that he grabbed someone else's lunch by accident and didn't want to tell us. I sent him to his room because....well...he just needed a nap so that was the best way to get him to take one and he did. Lil man slept for almost 2 hours and then woke up telling me he needed breakfast. Now, he is coloring and cutting out pictures before we go make some dinner together!

My life is about to get a bit hectic with lil man in school, hubby working at his shop, and me starting a job soon but the good part comes when I am not home while my baby is at school. They say it will get easier with time but it is still hard knowing he is not home with me like he has been for the past 5 years.

I Am A Kindergartener

2011-08-22T19:22:00.001-05:00

Today, I became one of those mommies who BARELY made it out of the school after dropping off my newly turned 5 yr old at the school as a KINDERGARTENER. He has NEVER been in a daycare or preschool so this was new to us all. I was strong for him yet as I was walking out of the school, a teacher stopped me and said "you are handling this very well" and I said "yes, I guess I am but I did do some crying last night!" And we had a good laugh. As soon as I walked out the door watching all the other children enter with their parents, the thought came across that I am walking out of the building WITHOUT my baby by my side holding my hand. I cried as I reached the truck. How can he be so grown up already?!?!

Shockingly he did not become a grump, a grouch or a devil child when Mommy came and woke him up at 6:45am this morning. He was pleasantly happy and ready for school.

But as soon as I was about to leave, I told him "mommy loves you. I hope you have fun and I will be here late to pick you up from school! I love you!" This is the look he gave me:

I have to admit, I was also that mommy that had about 4 break downs in one day. I cleaned the house after I dropped him off at school to realize that it was all too quiet and he wasn't coming downstairs asking for breakfast at his normal time. Then I was out with hubby who kept saying he wasn't my baby anymore but he will always be my little boy.

Eventually the time came for us to go pick him up and he seemed to enjoy his day. He talked about the playgrounds and meeting new friends and coloring. He even brought home a brown paper sack puppet as well as a tracing of his hands!

Let us see how the rest of this week goes and hope I don't break down every day.

Back To School

2011-08-21T12:09:00.000-05:00

The kiddos go back to school tomorrow. Yes, I said kiddos. My baby is finally starting school. He will be in Kinder this year. *cry*
We get to walk him to his classroom the first week of school ONLY but I am sure after a few days, he will want to walk himself to his own classroom. :(
What will I do in all that quiet time while he is gone? Better yet, how am I going to cope with all of us getting up before 7am? We are the "vampire" type....sleeping with black out curtains to keep the sun out so we can sleep until 9 or 10am (sometimes later) and going to bed between 10pm and 2am?!?!?!
I am in a rut with no photo sessions at the moment so I have no photos to edit. So much, I have actually started my own project of "A day in the life of" where I take a photo either every hour to document my daily life or just one photo a day. It gives me something to do. I could also clean the house and actually keep it clean for more than an hour! Ha!
There really isn't much to update you all with since I have just been busy trying to get the kids ready for school tomorrow.
If you are a mommy that has a baby starting school for this first time this year or remember this time very well, what did you do to keep yourself occupied? I don't start my job until around the 1st of September so until then, I need to occupy myself.

Stone Cold Shflurf

2011-08-11T17:39:00.001-05:00

The heck is a Shflurf!!?!?!?? Try to say it. Now imagine a 5 year old saying it! Apparently they are in every happy meal right now. They also tend to be a bit blue in color with white pants and hats! Ohhhhhhh, a SMURF!

Yesterday, my lil man turned 5 and it breaks my heart every time I say that I have a 5 yr old. Well he got a happy meal and told me later on in the day he had a Shflurf. It took me a while to realize what it was and the only way I figured it out was because he showed me! So, after he said it a few times, I thought it became fun to say and I say it a lot now and it gets a lot of giggles out of him.

Today, a day later, I decide to do some photos of my newly turned 5 yr old.

Here is how the morning went.

First he didn't want to get out of his Iron Man pajama pants to get dressed in the outfit I wanted him in but when I got him changed, he decided to roll on the floor. Excuse these poor photos as these are all SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera)

But eventually he made his way onto the studio flooring

Then we got to the idea of I-will-sit-and-look-miserable

So, as you can see, not all photographers have excellent children. They are not all angels. I even bribed him with gummy worms, candy, snacks, video games, his party coming up this weekend and all I got was more moping.

Therefore, the Shflurf came in handy because I started to say that and this is what I got.

So now you see, all you have to do is say something silly or act silly to get the reaction you want.

To see more from this session, check me out at my photography blog at Photography By Teresa Blog or at my Photography By Teresa Facebook

5 Years Ago

2011-08-10T16:12:00.001-05:00

August 10, 2006, a sweet little boy entered my life. He came into the world after about 13 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing (?!?!) weighing in at 8 pounds 10 ounces (really 9.9 ounces but who is counting?? Ha) at 21 inches long. He had a full head of dark hair. Around 5 months old it would turn to blonde. He is still sweet to this day 5 years later.

Tell me that doesn't make you just smile or giggle!?!?

He was such a ham!

They grow up so fast

And just one more "mobile" picture before I get his 5 yr professional photos done. This was taken yesterday at a restaurant eating a birthday brownie sundae!

Today, for his birthday, we cashed all his coins from his piggy bank which came to around $40 and he picked out a Transformers video game, a 5 pack Hot Wheels cars as well as a Hot Wheels big rig that launches up to 8 cars at the same time.

We have been having issues with the woman making his birthday party cake, so today after all my errands, I took him up to Target (yes, a grocery store) and he picked out a Transformers cake. He was a bit bummed because we couldn't take it home today that it broke my heart...especially on his birthday. Therefore, I took him to the toy section and I got him one toy he can play with now (not like he didn't get enough earlier....what can I say, he is spoiled) as well as one that I will wrap and give to him at his party! He was much better after that. Especially after the bakery gal gave him a free birthday chocolate chip cookie.

I cannot believe my baby has turned 5 today. Where did the time go? I hope the next 5 years don't go as fast.

It's Not Hoorah Unless It's Erah!

2011-08-09T15:53:00.001-05:00

You like my clever title, huh?!?! Ha. I came up with that one all on my own! Check it! Ha ha!

Another great photographer I met at Sunday's bridal photography workshop was Elizabeth (Liz) from Erah Photography. She has a sweet heart, a gentle soul and is very easy to get along with.

Here are just a sample of the photos she sent to me.

Check out the shoes!!!

Yes, that is me in all that foliage. I have bug bites and thorn scratches to prove it!

Liz did an excellent job and I am honored to meet her. I cannot wait to work with her again whether it be shooting next to her or being a model for her yet again!

Credits:

Workshop Host: Leslie Spurlock Photography

Photographer: Erah Photography

Hair: Me

Make Up: Me

Shoes: Wild Diva

Sausage And Roasted Garlic Risotto

2011-08-08T12:58:00.000-05:00

I have to say this is by far (this year) my favorite recipe and it is so simple to make. It originally called for chicken but I love the taste of sausage more because it isn't so bland or dry. I also didnt have any veggies to put in it and it still tasted great to me!

Ingredients
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (I used an entire link of Hillshire Farms sausage..comes in a U shape cut in big chunks)
1 tablespoon(s) butter
1 can(s) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup
1 can(s) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Mushroom with Roasted Garlic Soup
2 cup(s) water
2 cup(s) instant white rice
1 cup(s) peas

Directions

1) Heat the butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken (or meat of your choice) and cook for 10 minutes or until well browned on both sides. Remove the chicken (or meat of your choice)from the skillet.

2) Stir the soups and water in the skillet and heat to a boil. Stir in the rice and vegetables. Return the chicken (or meat of your choice) to the skillet. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the chicken (or meat of your choice) is cooked through. Remove the skillet from the heat. Let stand for 5 minutes.

Tip: Traditionally, risotto is made by sautéeing rice in butter then stirring broth into the rice a little at a time- very labor-intensive. This dish gives you the same creamy texture with a lot less work!

It says it serves 4 but I was able to serve 6-8 with this recipe
Total Time: 30 min
Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 20 min

If you try this, let me know what you think of it! All my boys (except the youngest of course) enjoyed it!

Bad Day Turned Truelove

2011-08-08T11:26:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, Sunday, I planned to be a bridal model for one of my favorite photographers Leslie Spurlock Photography. She hosted a bridal/wedding workshop for other photographers. I did trial hair do's and make up ideas for days leading up to the workshop.
Sunday morning, I knew I had to be there at 10am so I got up at 8am to give me an hour to get ready. It seriously only took me about 5 minutes to do my hair (after I quickly flat iron curled it...yes, I curl with a flat iron) and then about the rest of the time to do my make up. I had to make sure it was just right and flawless.
Well to say the least, my hair kept falling out of the bobby pins and NOT doing what I planned it to do, my make up looked splotchy, and when I went into our master closet trying to find my original wedding shoes, I clocked my left temple of my head REALLY hard on the wall. So hard, I thought I literally heard it crack. At that instant, I felt seriously sick to my stomach and all I could think about is "great, now I have a crack in my skull and could possibly have bleeding in my brain." I am so positive! Ha!
I FINALLY got in the car after falling off the driveway due to this LOVELY Texas drought we have and on my way 10 minutes late to find out I forgot my bobby pins. I was NOT turning around to go retrieve them. Oh well.
I met some great photographers at the workshop as well as 2 other bridal models (one was truly a bride and the other, just like me, has already been married. One of the photographers was kind enough to post some photos already on Facebook and I am happy with the way they turned out. You really need to check out Weddings by Truelove Photography if you are interested in bridals or weddings (being as I don't shoot much with weddings anymore). Her and her husband are very sweet endearing people. If you are looking for their Facebook here it is.
After I saw the photos, I said "wow, I was just being hard on myself and I really did look okay" There were some where I said "man, I didnt look THAT good, but I guess I did!" HA!

Here are just a couple of my favorites and I will post these because they have the logo on them so I am not just "stealing" the photos! I am giving the photographer MANY credits. I cannot wait to see what else she posts as well as her husband and the 3 other photographers photos!

And about an hour or so into the shoot, my hair fell out yet again from the bobby pins so I just threw it down and left it down!

Again, check out Weddings by Truelove Photography for more photos from this workshop and keep an eye out for other work from the other photographers!\

CREDITS:

Workshop Host: Leslie Spurlock Photography

Photographer of these photos: Weddings by Truelove Photography

Hair: Me

Make up: Me

Dress: David's Bridal style E8122 (no longer in stock)

Shoes: Wild Diva

How about 2 more styles??

2011-08-05T17:23:00.000-05:00

Here are 2 more styles for you to choose from to go with my dress for Sunday's bridal model photography workshop

Style 3:
"3 banded messy buns" which you can find here at My Yellow Sandbox

I am TOTALLY sure it would look MUCH better if I hairsprayed that small little fuzzy tail down my neck up LOL and if I had MUCH longer/thicker hair. But I like this as a messy up do.

Style Number 4:
The "Double Knotted Ponytail/Bun" which I found here at Kandee Johnson's blog

So which do you like?? I will make a poll in another post so you can see which one!

Bloglovin'??

2011-08-05T16:26:00.002-05:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Maybe this is just what I need to keep my blog up to date! What do you think?!?!?

Hairstyle Number Two

2011-08-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

I THINK I'm liking style number 1 better because it is messier and easier to do and I can POSSIBLY recreate it!

First here is a photo of my wedding dress (NOT ME in the photos...found them online)

Front

Back

So, now you can see how "beachy" it is and how I want a messy do to compliment it but also I want the hair UP off my back because I have this glorious thing:

Yes, it is awesome, isn't it.

So, anyways, onto the style that is supposed to look like this one

But looked like this in the end. This was a tough one NO MATTER HOW MANY TIME I watched the tutorial video. (I'm slow, oh well! Ha!)

So, out of those two so far, I'm rooting for the first up do! What'cha think?!?! Remember beachy.

Hairstyle Number One

2011-08-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

I admit, I'm more of a Facebook addict than a blogger. BUT, I will DEFINITELY try to keep up with this thing.

If you don't remember, Ms Leslie Spurlock Photography took these photos of me during a Trash the Dress session.

Well, Sunday, I get to do the honors of being a bridal model IN MY OWN WEDDING DRESS (the dress in photos above was a dress I bought off Craigslist for $50 to mainly get dirty but because I couldn't fit in my dress years ago). Leslie is hosting a photography workshop and I will be a bridal model during it.

Therefore, I have been spending a lot of time on Pinterest the last few days trying to come up with a hairstyle and make up because my stylist from the last time moved away to CA (*insert sad face*)

Today, I tried this hairstyle (The Cascading Roses)

And here is my result. Of course, I didn't do the roses down the side of my head but straight down the middle. My hair isn't as long as the girl's hair in the tutorial. This is hair style number one.

Tomorrow, I am going to attempt this style and here is the link to the tutorial

I will post my hair tomorrow on how this do turned out.

They Don't Look Hot Until They Look Hot

2011-07-28T20:17:00.000-05:00

So watching movies over the past few days, I have run across a few celebrity men that never interested me until they played certain roles and looked certain parts.

Here is my all time celebrity crush

(Johnny Depp) Hello My Pretty!!!!

But long before Johnny was this sexy mess of a man

(Leonardo DiCaprio) Hello Mr Sensitive.

But....now I have added these guys to my celebrity crushes just because there is something about them.

(Liam Neeson) Hello Mr Bad Ass.

(Jason Momoa) Why hello there you barbarian.

And last but not least at the moment.....this man. Swoon-Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, First Knight......

Hello Mr I-Gotta-Have-The-Woman

Okay, I think I gave you ladies enough hotness for the evening! LOL

Losing Too Much, Too Fast

2011-07-28T17:32:00.000-05:00

I have lost A LOT of weight...to be exact 24.2 lbs in the last 5 months, give or take. I started at 148.4 (yes, I just told the entire world what I used to weigh...so what?!?!?)

There you have it...that is the current weight. I sometimes wonder if all this dental work has given me an eating disorder. No, I am not anorexic nor bulemic. For one, when I eat....I EAT!!! And on another note, I hate gagging so I would not make myself PURPOSELY gag! Ugh! Who can do that?!?!?! But, there are days when I am crawling into bed and I have realized that I had not had ANYTHING to eat at all and then that starts to concern me. Also, a lot lately, I've had dizzy spells or spells of being light headed. For those that are just now following, I have had 2 dental surgeries in the last 3 months. One was to remove the right 2 wisdom teeth (yes, at the age of 27 I still have all my wisdom teeth...or had them) and then just last week I had the left 2 removed as well as exploratory surgery done on the right lower where the previous surgeon possibly left bone fragments or root tips in my socket. Not cool, doc! Therefore, the past week alone I have not been able to chew much because I have stitches on both sides of my mouth. Not cool either. But either way, I sometimes wonder...because I am not hungry much anymore and when I am hungry nothing ever sounds good or looks appetizing.

Update on Surgery

2011-07-22T16:07:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I had surgery yesterday morning. Surgery started about 10am and I woke up during the procedure. Ya, so not fun nor cool. Not really the dentist's fault. To get our bill down, we had to cut down on anethesia costs so instead of 1 hour of anethesia, they only did 30 min and about 5-10 minutes before they were finished, I woke up. Talk about painful. they ended up giving me 2 local novacaine shots in the area they were working on so I wasn't feeling as much pain but when you just give the shot and keep working and not give it time to kick in, it doesn't help very much.
They took out my 2 left wisdom teeth as well as dug around in the lower right socket to see if there were root tips (retained root) or bone fragments. They found neither and because of that we got a refund on the bill (YAY) BUT they did find some scar tissue so they removed that and went ahead and did the biopsy anyways. the surgeon didnt feel comfortable leaving it at that and not know what was causing me pain so he did the biopsy. If the biopsy comes back clear and i have no more pain, then that just means it was the scar tissue causing all the pain I was having on the lower right side.
I ate a cup of ice cream, half a milkshake and a cup of pudding as well as a bowl of mashed creamy potatoes. So I got SOME food in my system BUT I have still lost another .6 pounds since official weigh in before surgery yesterday.
Today, I woke up feeling fine. Just a lot of pressure, nothing too painful but then after finishing my milkshake, it hit me and I had to take some meds and put ice pack on my face. I think I am ready for a nap....just hard to do when you have a 4 yr old running around the house irritating the dogs.

I am trying to recover and will back when I am feeling much better.

Late Nights

2011-07-20T03:56:00.000-05:00

I am all JACKED up on the sleep schedule. I tend to go to bed around 11pm-1am when hubby is home from work. When he is at work (he works nights), I find it hard to go to bed before 4am. Most the time though, the pain is keeping me awake. I have been on pain killers for so long that they either don't work or they wear off before I can take anymore. Therefore, when I sleep, I sleep on my stomach or my side which in turns means my face/cheeks are pressed against my pillow. If I am laying that way, I wake up in my pain because the pressure on my jaw or wisdom teeth. If I am on my back, I wake up having back pains or tend to have to get up to potty more often. (Why is that?!?!) The pain meds make me sleepy but they tend to take almost an hour or two to kick in and by then the pain meds have worn off and I am in pain again so I cannot go to sleep. I am a night owl though and always have been.
Either way, I probably need to get to bed but I was just informing all my readers that I will be getting a call from the dentist's office again today after lunch regarding my insurance payment. Right now, they only calculated the dental insurance and if medical insurance doesn't step in and take a GOOD LARGE chunk of that, then there is NO WAY under God's green Earth that we will be able to afford the surgery which means NO surgery. Therefore, I am waiting for that call to tell me that the medical insurance is taking some of that "pain" of the VERY large bill away and we can still stay scheduled for Thursday morning's surgery. Let's just pray and hope!
Also, I got a job today. I won't be starting until Labor Day weekend and I have to get CPR certified but hey, I got a job! Also it is very low pay but again I GOT A JOB!!! And, I will be working full time! Yay!
Okay, i think that is it for now.
Good night...or Good morning...however you want to look at it.

Dental Update

2011-07-18T22:28:00.001-05:00

Okay so I received a call from my oral surgeon today to fill me in on what he found on my CT scan.
Remember, back in late March I had my 2 right wisdom teeth removed. Well in the lower right socket, he found what could POSSIBLY be a retained root. THAT could be the reason I have been in so much pain for a long time. BUT, he said it could also be bone fragments which could have caused a terrible infection or a cyst/tumor on my jaw. That is scary. He said either way he WILL have to do surgery to remove both my left wisdom teeth as well as go in and do surgery on the lower right socket. If he finds bone fragments he will have to do a tissue biopsy and send it to the lab to find out what it could be or could have caused. Let's just pray it is a retained root.
I will be getting surgery soon!!! Yay, relief is in sight FINALLY!!!!

Will Return ASAP

2011-07-18T01:41:00.000-05:00

I am so sorry I have not been around. I have been in way too much pain to even concentrate or function on some days.
Here is what has happened since the last blog post

July 4:
I took my lil man and step son to our church for a 4th of July Ice Cream/Bingo night. There we ate many goodies as well as played many games of Bingo. Lil man one a game of normal Bingo as well as "Blackout" (covering the entire board). For winning, he got a pack of candy

Afterwards, we went outside and watched a great fireworks display

Bad photo as it was taken with the cell phone.

The following day, we chilled at the pool which was nearly empty

And each day just seemed to get hotter and hotter. On July 6th it was reading 106* outside. Phew, gotta love Texas heat!

July 11 I got to do something I have never done. See the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Yes, I was deprived as a child! Our town was on the list of stops for it's 70th anniversary. I could've stayed there all day if it wasn't so darned hot.

And just yesterday, we attempted to go tubing at the lake but hubby's boat engine kept overheating. Not good. BUT we did get the boat going about 20 mph so it was a decent speed for lil man to go tubing. This was his first time ever doing this.

Me before going to the lake. Yes, I got all "pretty'd up"

I have not had dental surgery yet. I was scheduled for a CT scan this past week and was supposed to hear back from them Friday but have yet to hear anything. I will be calling them tomorrow (or later today I guess) and see if I can get in come Wednesday. I am hoping to get it done this week because I have volunteered to be a church camp director (again) next week and I really do not want to miss it. I always enjoy going to camp to meet new people, see old friends, have fun and get closer to the Lord all at the same time.

What Goes Away, Comes Back Again

2011-07-03T16:48:00.000-05:00

I have not been neglecting this blog on purpose. A few months ago, I had surgery to remove my 2 right wisdom teeth. KNOWING at the time I should've gotten all 4 removed, and KNOWING I didn't want to be in pain, I only got 2 removed. Well, now I have been in so much pain recently I have been staying in bed or on the couch doped up on Vicodin and Ibprofen eating slices of bread and drinking smoothies as well as eating mashed potatoes. Oh, this is the life, let me tell you. *Sarcasm*

On top of all that I have been having pain in my right wrist but lately it is on and off so it hasn't been bothering me much the past few days so I am able to type up this post.

I have been trying to find something to keep me busy while not on the computer and at first I wanted to start making feather earrings but that was just frustrating and then I started on some bead work but being in pain due to a major toothache, that hasn't been happening much.

During all that, I have been staying busy (at least today) shooting photos of earrings from a local vendor I know (Signs by LC...check her out on facebook).

Meet Me on Monday

2011-06-27T14:54:00.000-05:00

Questions:

1. What is your favorite food?
2. What color scheme is your bedroom?
3. Do you carry a donor card?
4. In your opinion, is the glass half empty or half full?
5. Vanilla or Chocolate?

---------------------------------------------------------------
My Answers!

1. What is your favorite food?

Spaghetti. Hands down. My mom, growing up, always asked what we wanted to eat on our birthday so she can cook it for us yet she never had to ask me because it was ALWAYS spaghetti. Even if we had it a few days before, she will cook it again, just for me.

2. What color scheme is your bedroom?

I dont really have a color scheme as that is one room I'm still figuring out how to decorate. I do have beige sheets and a green/tan comforter so going with a tan/green theme I guess.
(Note photo is not mine but I wouldn't mind having a room look like that)

3. Do you carry a donor card?
No but when I got my DL (Drivers License) I stated them I wanted to be a donor. Never got a donor card or anything. At that time though, I think they just had it in the computer. Who know!?!?!?

4. In your opinion, is the glass half empty or half full?
In my opinion it depends on the situation! LOL

5. Vanilla or chocolate?
I would say Vanilla. I have always loved Vanilla (ice cream that is) but lately I have had the urge to eat Chocolate...therefore I just buy the ice cream that is half and half!

Meet Me On Monday

2011-06-20T15:28:00.000-05:00

Questions:

1. What feature of the opposite sex do you notice first?
2. Do you talk to yourself?
3. What is your current relationship status?
4. Do you have a garden?
5. What is your favorite licorice flavor?
---------------------------------------------------------------
My Answers!

1. What feature of the opposite sex do you notice first?
If I am close enough to them, I notice their eyes. Especially the men with dark hair and blue eyes. But most the time I notice what they look like...or what they are wearing.

2. Do you talk to yourself?
No, that is crazy! LOL...actually I always say "I guess I am talking to the walls yet they don't talk back" because none of my boys in my house (hubby included) listen to me.

3. What is your current relationship status?
Married!

4. Do you have a garden?
NO WAY! I have no green thumb therefore I also have flowers.

5. What is your favorite licorice flavor?
The Cherry kind.

300 Fan Giveaway!!!! Over $100 in Prizes

2011-06-16T13:19:00.001-05:00

I am hosting a giveaway on my fan page on Facebook and letting you all know about it as well because, be honest, who doesn't want to try to win free stuff!?!?! You can go to Photography By Teresa's Blog to comment/leave your entry or you can comment here and I will put you in with the comments there to have a chance at winning.

This giveaway is not associated with or sponsored by Facebook. Liking any of the below Facebook pages does not constitute immediate entry into this giveaway. The off site (blog) entry must be completed to enter.

This "journey" I have taken as a photographer has been, at times, frustrating yet rewarding! I have been very grateful to meet so many wonderful people; clients, vendors and other photographers. You all have been so support and shown me on Facebook that you like me. So, therefore, I am ready to YOU how much I appreciate it by putting together this awesome giveaway just in time to reach 300 fans! 300 may not seem like many to some of you but for me that is a goal I have tried so hard for the last month to reach and I am excited to have reached that big number.

This prize package has over $100 worth of goodies! Thanks to all my generous sponsors, everything in this awesome prize package may be perfect for you, but it may also be perfect to use as gifts for people you love.

If you are ready, I will introduce to you the great (and talented) sponsors!

Mai Prop Creations ~Newborn Bear Hat, Diaper Cover, Ball Tail Combo
Facebook Page

Mai Prop Creations sells beautifully, hand crocheted props for newborns/children of all ages. She sells them to photographers and/or parents! Mai Prop Creations has generously donated a teddy bear hat along with a diaper cover worth $25. This is a newborn sized hat/diaper cover.

Heather Maries Bows ~Independence Day InfantTutu
Facebook Page

Heather Maries Bows creates much more than just bows. She also creates hair bow holders, decorative hair clips, crocheted blankets, fleece tie blankets as well as tutus. These make for great photography props if not just to have your little one dress up around the house. Heather Maries Bows has donated this beautifully made 4th of July tutu (worth $25) just in time for the glorious holiday. The tutu is 14-20 inches wide in the waist and 8 1/2 inches long. Great for infants!

SewInspired ~Zebra Print Checkbook Cover
Facebook Page
Etsy Shop

SewInspired has some beautifully sewn products such as Cosmetic cases, coasters, purses/tote bags, Ipod cases as well as check book covers. She is pretty new to the industry and looking for this business to help profit her way through school. She has generously donated this zebra print check book cover with your choice of Red, Blue or Pink ribbon worth $8. This would be a great gift for yourself, your mother, your aunt, your grandmother, or any woman in your life! It is also great because with this cover, you are sure to never lose your checkbook in your purse or car ever again!

Signs by LC ~Tibetan Silver Wings Earrings
Facebook Page
Etsy Shop

Signs by LC custom makes signs, leather items, dresses, aprons, as well as necklaces from guitar picks, dominoes and scrabble tiles. She also makes earrings with many different charms. I am a huge fan of Signs by LC as I have a couple pairs of her earrings and I get a lot of great comments and compliments on them. She is very easy to work with as well if you would like anything custom made with photos of loved ones, favorite bands, etc and no 2 pieces will ever be the same. Signs by LC's earrings/charms are made of Tibetan silver and are great quality! I have already bought several from her! I had the privilege of choosing which earrings would go into this giveaway and I chose the Small Wings Earrings because I, for one, am in love with these as they are beautifully crafted and because I also have a pair and get lots of compliments on them.

Eternally Hooked (Crocheted Hats, Photo Props and More!) ~$10 Gift Card
Facebook Page
Etsy Shop

Eternally Hooked has handcrafted hats, beanies, newborn photo props and much much more. Everything is made to order so if you do not see anything you like in her shop, let her know and she will make it right up for you. Therefore, she will not leave you disappointed. Eternally Hooked is offering up a $10 gift card towards anything in her shop! You won't want to miss out on this chance as she has some darling products!

Sugar Baby Crochet ~Crocheted Headband
Facebook Page

Sugar Baby Crochet crochets custom made headbands, hats as well as blankets. She is still pretty new to the Facebook world but has some great products. She has donated a headband worth about $8. Sugar Baby Crochet made this headband just for this giveaway so the winner will be very lucky to receive this. It is beautifully crafted with gorgeous colors.

A tutu for any little princess ~Red Crochet Headband with Red/Zebra Flower
Facebook Page
Etsy Shop

A Tutu For Any Little Princess sells much more than tutus! Because every princess deserves a tutu, A Tutu For Any Little Princess custom makes any and all tutus as well as fairy wings and headbands. They have all sorts of headbands ranging from the skinny newborn headbands to the crocheted headbands and all come with or without a flower clip of your choice. A Tutu For Any Little Princess is offering up this beautiful Red Crochet Headband with a Red/Zebra Print Flower Clip. The clip is removable so you can put whatever flower you want on your headband if you already have more flower clips or you could purchase more from her. I, as a photographer, have already ordered about 4 or so of these headbands and clips and I like the range and style of them. Typically these are on auction on her Facebook or she has them for sale at $5. They are greatly priced but you could have this for free!

SaraLili Creations ~Hot Pink Bow/Blk &Blue Hair Clips
Facebook Page

Saralili Creations is super brand new to the Facebook world. Saralili Creations started out making hair bows for her cousins and thought it great to start up shop. I am so glad she decided to be a sponsor in this giveaway and I hope she has great success in the future with her shop! Saralili Creations has so sweetly offered to giveaway a hairbow as well as some small bow clips. These are worth around $12 together and are super-dee-duper cute (yes, I just pulled a "Barney")

Mingling with Beads ~Patriotic Ring
Facebook Page
Etsy Shop

Mingling with Beads makes a wide variety of jewelry for all different price ranges. She is generously donating this patriotic ring in honor of the 4ht of July coming up! Mingling with Beads jewelry is mostly wire-worked and very rare which makes it so unique and beautiful. She also makes jewelry for men as well as children. Also, if you do not see anything that is your liking, contact her and she will be more than happy to custom make something for you. This ring is adjustable in size but can be made to fit larger and is worth close to $8.

So, I bet you are now wondering how you could possibly win all these fabulous gifts?!?!

Mandatory Entry:
Please go through the list and "like" all the following Facebook pages with your personal page:
1. Photography By Teresa
2. Mai Prop Creations
3. Heather Maries Bows
4. SewInspired
5. Signs by LC
6. Eternally Hooked (Crocheted Hats, Photo Props and More!)
7. Sugar Baby Crochet
8. A Tutu For Any Little Princess
9. Saralili Creations
10. Mingling with Beads

Please "heart" the following Etsy shops
1. SewInspired
2. Signs by LC
3. Eternally Hooked (Crocheted Hats, Photo Props and More!)
4. A Tutu For Any Little Princess
5. Mingling With Beads

After you have become a fan of all these wonderful vendors, leave a comment with the following information (all in just one comment please!):
1. A statement confirming your likes!
2. Your name as seen on Facebook
3. Your Etsy username
4. Your email address.

Now you are entered for a chance to win all these great prizes!!! But wait, do you want to know how you can earn more than one chance at winning?!?! Include your email address in a separate comment with each entry. (Each of these count as 2 separate comments!)
1. Tweet about this giveaway along with the link to your tweet in the comment (only once please)!
2. Post about this giveaway on your Facebook and leave a link to your status update in the comment!

Now you have 3 chances to win these great prizes!

This giveaway will end June 27, 2011 at midnight. (edited because there are a few July 4th products in the giveaway and the vendors/sponsors need time to ship before that fun date)

The winner will be selected at random on the following day. The winner will have 48 hours to respond to my email/facebook status regarding the win or another winner will be selected.

That's all there is to it. Have fun and good luck and thank you all for being a fan of Photography By Teresa!

Summer To-Do's With Small Children

2011-06-13T16:24:00.000-05:00

My child isn't a toddler anymore but to me he will always be my baby.
I found Counting On Me via Pinterest and found her 101 Things To Do With Your Toddler.

I was interested to see if there anything in that 101 Things To Do list, to do with my soon to be 5 yr old this summer instead of letting him veg in front of the TV playing video games.

Color
Blow Bubbles
Play Hide-and-Seek
Peek-a-Boo (ya may be a bit old for peek a boo)
Play Chase
Do Finger-plays
Sing a song
Collect rocks in a basket (he loved collecting rocks)
Make an obstacle course out of cushions and/or furniture
Make a fort out of cushions and sheets
~~Go for a Walk~~
Make a Car out of a Box
Read a book
~~Go to the park~~
Finger-paint
Play with Play-Dough
Toss Bean bags into a Bucket
Play the shell and pea game (what exactly is the shell and pea game?!?!)
~~Dance to music~~
~~Download games for toddlers from the Internet~~
Practice putting things in and taking things out of boxes and bags
Make a temporary slide out of a table leaf and your couch
~~Roll a ball back and forth on the floor~~
Scoop dirt or sand into a child's bucket (or use a serving spoon and bowl)
Practice climbing by stacking boxes on top of each other (only with adult supervision)
Put on a puppet show
Go fishing with a yard stick and yarn
Make a Horseshoe game
Make a Shape Puzzle
Play paper basketball
Run through a Sprinkler
Play with a bucket of water and a sponge (PLEASE WATCH CHILD AT ALL TIMES!)
Make a Drum out of an oatmeal box
Play with a kazoo
Wash windows together
Bang on Pots and Pans with a spoon
Brush each other's teeth
Play dress-up with stuffed animals and your child's clothes
Stack canned or boxed food on top of each other
Let child stack mixing bowls inside each other
Make a playhouse out of a large box
Let child play with a sticker sheet (make sure your child doesn't eat them!)
Put stickers on fingers for finger puppets
Play a musical instrument together- i.e.recorder, piano, etc.
Go on a Smelling Hunt
Frost Cookies
Plant a flower or vegetable plant together
Roll a tennis ball into an empty trash can or bucket
Draw on a mirror with dry-erase markers
Play hide and seek together- trying to find a stuffed animal or other object
Have a splash party together in the bathtub
Put a leash on a stuffed animal and walk around the house
Record each other on a tape recorder (great for scrapbooks or journals!)
Make and try on paper hats
Give a piggy-back ride
Play "Horsey"
Talk into an electric fan (it distorts your voice)
Play tug-of-war with a blanket
Collect flowers (felt, artificial, real...)
Make a camera and go on a Safari
Play games with frozen juice lids
Disconnect your phone and pretend to make phone calls to relatives
Leave your phone connected and really make phone calls to relatives- let your child talk too
String large beads onto or along a shoelace
Squirt each other with squirt bottles
Glue shapes onto paper
Make sock puppets
Make paper puppets
Fill an old purse with toys
~~Use a paper towel tube as a megaphone~~
Make binoculars and go "Bird Watching" or "Stuffed Animal Watching"
Put snacks in different fun containers (paper sacks, empty canisters, etc.)
Act out a story from a book
Walk on a balance beam- use a 2x4 placed on the ground
~~Draw with chalk on the sidewalk~~
Sketch an outline of your child on the sidewalk or paper with chalk
Paint child's palms with tempura paint and blot on paper. Makes a great card for loved ones!
Put lipstick on child and kiss a mirror
Make a puddle on cement and splash barefoot in it
Let child decorate and eat an open peanut butter sandwich
Make a toilet paper barricade for child to go under, over, or through
Do the Hokey Pokey
Make a super-hero costume out of household items
Do Knee-Bouncing Rhymes
Play "Red Light, Green Light" saying "Go" and "Stop"
Make a shoe-box train for stuffed animals
Make a pillow pile to jump on (keep it clear from any hard surfaces, including walls!)
Make an easy puzzle with felt and Velcro
Make bracelets or collars for stuffed animals out of pipe cleaners and jingle bells
~~Learn numbers from a deck of cards~~
Play the matching game with a deck of cards
Make a domino chain
Have a picnic in the park, backyard, or living room!
Play dress up in Mommy or Daddy's clothes
Make a tin cup telephone and talk to each other in it
Make a nature collage
Mirror each other
Make a "Mummy Mommy" with toilet paper
Make a tape recording of short music selections and instructions to move in different ways
Make and walk along a toilet paper trail
TAKE A NAP!

Meet Me on Monday

2011-06-13T11:47:00.000-05:00

Questions:

1. What is your favorite yogurt flavor?
2. Ankle or knee socks? and on the same theme, white socks or coloured??
3. How is the weather right now?
4. Are you a fast typer?
5. Red or White Wine?
---------------------------------------------------------------
My Answers!

1. What is your favorite yogurt flavor?
I prefer any yogurt that doesn't have chunks of fruit in them. Ha! I actually like Cherry the best.

2. Ankle or knee socks? and on the same theme, white or colored???
WHEN I wear socks, I prefer them white and at the ankle yet I have mostly regular sized socks as I wear boots a lot.

3. How is the weather right now?
According to the weather online, it is barely under 90* and sunny

4. Are you a fast typer?
I tend to think I am and I tend to think I take after my mother on that part. I used to giggle when I would hear her type an email as all you hear was the clicking of the keys on the keyboard and I was in awe of how fast she could type. Took a typing test just before posting this so I could for sure know how fast I typed. Here is the result.

5. Red or white wine?
I prefer neither but I have mainly drank Red Wines since I have been able to drink. I would like to explore more wines with a much sweeter taste.

Sunburn, Kidney Stones, Popped and How 'Bout Them Mavs?!?!?!

2011-06-13T11:34:00.000-05:00

So, I have neglected my blog for a whole week it seems. There is a good explanation this time for that.
I had several photos to edit from a couple sessions at first. Then I thought it might be good to spend some quality time with the kiddos so I took them to the pool and to the park for some fun.

Excited to be at the pool...can't ya tell

Hiding from mommy...and being silly

Playing some Basketball with step son

After all that, I was quite sunburned...only on the front side. It actually wasn't bad until 2 days afterwards. But that is where my week really got moving along.
I ended up taking hubby to the hospital around midnight on Friday due to some back pains. I kept telling it was possibly kidney stones again and he denied it and got a little bit huffy about it so I took him to the ER. We were there for 4 hours (like I had expected) and turns out they were able to find a stone BARELY out of the kidney 3mm in size. They also found 2 more in his left kidney and 1 in his right that we are unsure of when they will make their presence known. He seemed to be feeling fine the next day or so as he was able to visit me and the boys at the pool while playing Angry Birds on his phone

It wasn't until that same night that I realized....while laying in bed...that I pop my ankles, toes and fingers a lot more than I do any other time of the day. I am not sure why. My fingers and toes tend to hurt more then and I can feel them needing to be popped, especially during a storm. I guess I need to "crack" that habit (pun intended).
And last but not least, how about them Mavs??? Champions of 2011 NBA! I am not a bit fan of Baskeball but I watched the last 4 minutes of the 4th quarter last night and witness a glorious win for Dallas.

I will TRY my best to blog at least one post a day to keep everyone on their toes!

Meet Me on Monday

2011-06-06T17:35:00.000-05:00

No you aren't delusional, this one is only 4 questions this time around. Maybe Java will change it back to 5 the next week. We shall see.

Questions:

1. What is was the last piece of candy that you ate?
2. Do you "read" in the bathroom?
3. I can't stand when someone _________?
4. Do you do daily, weekly or monthly grocery shopping?
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My Answers!

1. What is the last piece of candy that you ate?
I would have to say the last piece of candy I ate was a Twix bar my hubby brought home one night from the gas station. I actually still haven't finished it as it had 4 bars in a package. I only ate one or two I believe.

2. Do you "read" in the bathroom?
I actually LOL'd at this question. I do not. Well, okay I lied. I sometimes do but that is if I am waiting for my straightener to heat up or I am doing my make up and I read emails or Facebook statuses but I do not read on the toilet! I don't even read in the tub because somehow or another the book always gets wet.

3. I can't stand when someone ____________?
Oh my goodness, I could make a list but if I have a choice for only one option it would have to be that I cannot stand it when someone ~~stands in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store~~ nah that isn't it. I can't stand it when someone ~~doesn't turn on their blinker to signal they are turning yet they slam on their brakes in the middle of the road~~. That isn't it either. Oooooh I got it. I can't stand it when someone is on their cell phone in a small space and feels the need to yell over the other end. It's like they think the other person on the other line can't hear them. I do not care to hear your phone conversation! Really!

4. Do you do daily, weekly or monthly grocery shopping?
We get paid every 2 weeks and typically we will grocery shop at the beginning of every month but will go every now and then and get bread or milk or the whatever it is we need if we need it.

Link up below