Instagram For Android

YEAH BABY!!! Instagram finally became available for Android users (like myself) so therefore, I have been going Instagram CRAZY the past few days.

It's a southern thing: Sweet Tea (everyday)

Took lil man to the park a few days ago and this is what we got to see:

Hanging out at the park....literally: 

Visiting the Easter Bunny at the local Bass Pro Shops:

Ranch Parsley Burger

I was browsing Pinterest for a new hamburger recipe and found a few that looked good but kind of put my own together.

Ingredients:

*1 lb ground beef
* 1/2 tsp garlic powder
* 1/2 tsp onion powder
* 1/2 tsp parsley
* a sprinkle of pepper
* 1/4 cup Ranch Dressing
* 1/2 tsp Season Salt
* slices of cheese
* hamburger buns

Directions:

1. Mix all the ingredients with the ground beef in a bowl. (Get dirty, use your hands!)
2. Let it sit for about 30 minutes to soak in the flavors.
3. Heat the pan and at the same toast your buns.
4. Put buns aside while you make burger patties out of your beef mixture.
5. Put patties in the pan and cook on high heat. Let the burgers cook on each side about 5 minutes or until no longer pink and only flip ONCE!!! (I know, hard to do but do it!)
6. After you flip your burger to cook the other side, wait for a few minutes before putting your slice of cheese onto your burger and let it melt.
7. When burger is cooked how you like it, put it on your bun and add any and all condiments you want.

ENJOY!!!

*for those that use pinterest, feel free to pin this!!!*

Dying Easter Eggs

With the way things have been happening lately, I wasn't sure how my Easter weekend was going to be looking. If I was going to have my son or not. Therefore, Saturday evening, I decided to boil some eggs in prep to dye some eggs Sunday, April 1st. No, not an April Fool's joke.
I found out my brother and his friends were coming over that day as well so it was a great day to dye eggs, so he could see his nephew color eggs.
We used some very old mugs and, instead of typical Easter egg dye, we used Kool Aid. Yes, you can find out how here (click this link).

Happy St Patrick's Day

We all wore green today so no one got pinched! I take that back, lil dude pinched us a few times so we pinched him back.
We got some photos of us at the park in our green so that is a plus.
I was also able to shoot a preemie session in the NICU of Presby Plano for Preemie Prints.

Here are the photos with us in our green and just a few from the Preemie Prints session.

Is This What Closure Feels Like?

Closure. Simple word, seven letters, noun loosely meaning “an ending”. But by far, the concept of closure is extraordinarily difficult to achieve. Why is this so tough to do? What makes closure such a difficult concept? "It's not you, it's me" is the typical closure sentence.
That wasn't what I got out of my relationship. I got a simple "when you finally get over me, you won't care how many girls I am around or what girls I am hanging out with!" Wow, talk about harsh.
A woman can handle many things, but the one thing she won’t deal with is her time being wasted. I think after a few days and being around my ex husband a few more times with his girlfriend and girl friends, I have realized that is all I ever did. Waste my time....waste it with him. After realizing that I don't think he ever truly appreciated me and all I did for him, I became numb. Not that tingly just-hit-funny bone numb or foot-is-asleep numb because then at least I would feel something. I feel nothing. Hatred---I wish! I have so much I could hate him for but I don't. Angry---not anymore. Why be angry over something I can't fix? Annoyed---a tad only because of his immaturity lately as well as disrespect. Hurt---not anymore. At least I don't think so. I think he hurt me for so long and hurt me so bad that I no longer feel hurt. I also believe, because of the hurt I have been through, I have built a wall so high around my heart so it won't get broken again. I am trying to put it back together. It is like a house of cards. You get the base built and someone bumps the table or a breeze comes by and knocks it down; I don't want that to happen to my heart.
So, I ask, is this what closure feels like? No longer having any emotion or feeling tied to the one that left you and broke your heart?
I am trying to move on and live my life like it never happened but in all honesty, I can't get the past 8 years back. I just have to make up for them, and it all starts with this:

Forget About It

The cursor is blinking at me. Is it blinking or winking? Telling me to type something or telling me that I already know what I want to type but just having a hard time finding the right words?? Songs and quotes fill my head this windy yet chilly afternoon along with a head cold and sinus infection.



But I can’t be whole,
'til I let all this anger go,
The silent strain I’ve carried long enough.

And I can’t be with you,
I don’t even want to,
I just wish your ghosts were gone,
Cause I’m ready to love,
I’ve been guarded long enough.

For years, I have dealt with pain in many relationships. My high school sweetheart, who at the time I thought I would marry and grow old with, left me for his ex girlfriend and ended up marrying her. They are now divorced but inside, I still carry that hurt and that pain. Now that I am divorced, I still can't bring myself to forgive nor forget how it all went down. They say forgiving is easier than forgetting but to be honest neither of them are easy. I guess I just need to forgive myself for putting myself in those situations and move on before even thinking about forgiving them for hurting me.



But don't you remember? Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby, please remember me once more.

Why can't real love be similar to that in movies? The man realizes he loves the woman and waits until she is leaving town or has left to go chasing after her. He leaves her in tears at his speech of how much in love with her he is and how he can't live one more second without her even though at times she gets under his skin and sometimes annoys the hell out of him. Yet, the way she squishes her nose at the smell of the rain is cute and he adores that. The way she says something yet is confused by what she just says makes him laugh and he loves her sense of humor. That would make love and relationships all too easy, huh?!



Even though it is fiction and the fantasy of the writer, this is what true love is. No age, religion, ethnicity, etc is an issue. Just the bond they share between them! That is true love and to have something like that is healing, strong, everlasting, spiritual and romantic.

Yet again, my cursor blinks at me. Blinking or winking? Blinking because I have come to the end of this blog as I have nothing more to write or winking because it knows I have more to write yet just can't find the write words to put down on this screen?

In the end, they all say time heals and makes things easier. I am trying to surround myself with people that make me laugh, people that make me think and people that make me forget the past and look more towards the future. I am lucky to have such people in my life and I am not sure where I would be in life now if it weren't for them.

Life may not be going accordingly right at this moment but I think about how unhappy I was for 8 years and how happy I am now that I am not in that situation any longer.

It may seem as the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget about the guy who forgot about you. -The Notebook

Spring Break Is Upon Us....Yet Again

It is that time of the year again when all your kiddies are out of school and you are stuck with them for an entire week. You know they will wake up at the butt crack of dawn, want to play video games, watch tv all day and eat EVERYTHING in your pantry and fridge. So, how do you get them outside and off their butts? Thank goodness for Pinterest. If you haven't, yet, found this glorious hole on the internet, you are seriously behind. That is like not having a Facebook. C'mon, it is 2012, get with the program!
Thank goodness my child is 5 and still loves to play outside. Yes, give him Call of Duty and he will be on that game like a fly stuck on fly paper, but I have mommy powers of getting him to go outside. Not really, I just turn off the tv or tell him he will be stuck in his room with NOTHING else to do all day if he wants to whine about it.
So, my plans for this Spring Break is to make a fort in the living room, watch some Disney movies while eating BUTTERY popcorn, playing at the park EVERY DAY (if this bipolar Texas weather takes it's meds) and maybe I can get lil man's daddy to let him bring his scooter so he can ride on that as well. Also, play with his army/medieval men, have a NERF war (after getting batteries for the other gun), cooking plenty of dinners, coloring, maybe visiting Nana and Papa as well as Uncle and then who knows what else. We may just lounge in our pajamas and eat junk food all week. Sounds good to me.
I may even bribe him into letting me take some more photos of him...ya right...in a million years would he let me do that.
So, what do you plan on doing with your children or making your children do while they are out of school?

I leave you with random photos from Spring Breaks years before.

Visiting Tennessee in March of 2004

Laying on the sandy beaches of Panama City, Florida for the first time on Spring Break in 2004.

My older sister (furthest right) came to visit Spring Break of 2007 and we all did a get together and of course we are all our own goof balls!

Around this time in 2009, I got a tattoo on my foot. Not planning on getting one this Spring Break but you can bet if I had the money for one, I totally would! 

Goes to show Texas is bipolar. Here it snowed in 2010 around Spring Break.

And last year, 2011, I was getting dental work done to remove my wisdom teeth. My lil man was right there keeping me company while I was healing. 

Update: Photos

I haven't shared any photos recently so this blog post is just to update you all on photos!!!

I recently took photos of my 5 year old and here are the results. Now, I will tell you something. As a mother to only one child, I still say he JUST turned 5 but many will argue he is about 5 1/2 and he will argue he is 6. So, remember, do not argue with mama because mama will always say "YOU JUST TURNED 5!!!"

Last weekend when I had my son, he had his first dental check up. I was so proud of him. At first he was like the fish that knew all too well and would not open his mouth but after a few minutes and bribing and pleading, he opened up and did soooooo very well. 

This past weekend I had him, I didn't truly think I was going to make it out of it alive. He had a very bad temperment to him as well as an attitude. I guess that is to be expected when having to live in 2 different houses at the age of 5. BUT, because the weather was so nice, I took him out of the apartment and to the park nearby as well as the obstacle course which he had a blast on. 

Friday From Hell

I've had many a bad Friday but I think yesterday has to be the worst Friday yet, at least since moving out on my own and the divorce. A few weeks back, I received a ticket (because obviously the officer had nothing better to do) for an out of date inspection sticker on the truck my ex husband is letting me drive until he either he a) fixes my car or b) tows it to my parents for someone else to fix. The officer told me to get it inspected by the 28 of February and then take the proof of inspection up to the court house by that date and get it dismissed for only $20.
Therefore, I was going to have ex hubs get it inspected last week but apparently he was low on funds. I fought and argued the point but decided it was like yelling at a wall so we agreed yesterday was THE last day it could get done. Well, in the end the truck didn't get inspected. The check engine light was on so ex hubs disconnected the battery for about 5 minutes. That didn't turn the light off. He then disconnected it for about 10 minutes, maybe 15 and that still didn't work. THEN we took it back to his house where he got his code reader and erased the codes. That did the trick. Well, because the battery was disconnected, the O2 reader or whatever wasn't reading and the inspection guy told me I had to put some miles back on the truck before getting it re-inspected. So ex hubs was kind enough to give me $40 for inspection and told me to find a place to get it done before Monday....if they check engine light doesn't come back on.
I called the court house to see if they could extend the date and they said I could make a court date to talk to judge/prosecuter to see if he/she will lower the fine. I asked why I would have to have fine lowered and found out that because the inspection has been out for more than 60 days (been expired since July), I cannot pay the $20 dismissal fee. I have to pay the $151 fine to get rid of the ticket. I can't even take defensive driving to remove the citation/ticket.
On top of all that, I found out that my last pay check from the shoe company I was working for, didn't direct deposit my check and ex hubs had the check in his mail box for at least 2 weeks now. Give it, it is only about 6 hours worth of pay but that is better than nothing. Therefore, with that deposited, I only have about $55 in my name until I find a job. I have rent and bills and other things to pay and I am not having a great life after divorce. Single life is becoming harder and harder than I thought.
I thought I would be much happier and in the aspect of not having someone yell me at, degrade me, insult me or controlling me, I am much happier but financially wise, this sucks.

Skele-Toes

What the heck are Skele-Toes, you ask? Fila Skeletoes are the new hot barefoot running shoes to hit the market. Not like I run but I guess I could start. I first heard of these silly looking duds on my best friend's Facebook page and was wondering what they were. After getting her a pair of toe socks to go with the toe shoes, I had a package arrive at my doorstep today. To my surprise and excitement, my best friend sent me some Skele-toe shoes as well.
I have to admit they are a bit goofy looking. You have to concentrate on where your toes go just like a pair of gloves and the material feels strange between your toes. BUT, I will also admit they are quite comfy.
So my adventures with Skele-toes starts today.
My first stop: my 3 story balcony to enjoy the spring like weather.

You Can't Change Them

You can only change yourself. Over the past 2 weeks, I have had time to reflect on my divorce and my life before divorce. Many words were said that cannot be taken back. Many questions were asked and not many answers were given.
If you are treated unfairly or "like crap" (as many refer to it), then why do you still care about the person or what they are doing in their life? Not an easy question to answer, is it?
I was given the opportunity to give some advice to a friend of mine this past weekend...okay I more or less just gave them the advice without them asking for it but it seemed fitting at the time.
At times, in the past 8 years, I was treated like a child, a slave at others and a nanny at most. I wanted to be treated for who I was. A girl who loves being goofy, having fun, being spontaneous and just lounging around being lazy. That is who I am. Yes, I like to clean but it makes me feel dirty when everything else is dirty. I love being around my son but I do not want to feel like I am babysitting him because the other parent has other things on their agenda.
The answer to the question "why do you still care" is definitely not an easy one to answer, especially to the person's face. The reason I care is because I love him. I loved my ex husband when we first met, I loved him when I moved in with him and I loved him through all the fights, the drama and the almost-3 or 4-divorces. I loved him because not only was....is he the father of my child but because he stood by my side through a lot of drama and turmoil in my life. He showed me who I really was in life and who I truly wanted to be with.
I love him because, to me, that is the norm. I am not used to going on dates. I am not used to saying "I love you" to any other guy. I am not used to holding hand with anyone but my son and my ex husband. And I sure as heck aren't used to sleeping or cuddling with any other guy. Time will change that, I know it will.
Change sucks but it brings new things in life. It brings out your true dreams, goals, aspirations as well personality and thoughts.
I will not say that I took my ex husband for granted nor ever appreciated him because I appreciated every little thing he did for me. I may have hated holding that flashlight while he worked under the hood of the car or on a boat engine but I watched him intently and learned some things. I may have hated to hold that ladder while he was changing a light bulb or putting up Christmas lights but it gave me a chance to look at his butt! What girl (or guy) doesn't like to do that with their significant other? I may have hated him sleeping in all those years before he went to work or on his days off but to me that gave me time to think and time to work and time to clean and definitely time NOT to fight and argue. I never truly card to get flowers on holidays, birthdays or just random occasions but to him that was his way of showing me he loved me. He may have gotten me just plain ol' gift cards and to me I may have thought that meant he didn't put any thought into getting me anything but really, he did....he thought that if he got me a gift card I could spend it on myself and get myself WHATEVER I wanted.
I may have hated him leaving his socks around the house, the dishes ABOVE the dishwasher or in the sink, his baseball caps laying all over the house and other little things he did but those were his quirks. I wake up and I don't see socks under the coffee table, hats on the couch, and dishes are IN the dishwasher or washed on a towel on the counter tops. I go about my day and I don't see or rarely talk to him or see any photos of him.
I am in a new life and sometimes it really hurts. It, in a way, makes me really miss him. Again, because that was the norm for me for 8 years. Now that he is gone, I see all this. I actually saw it all before and was, in my mind, wishing he would change because all that stuff annoyed me. BUT, that was...is who he is.
I say all this because no matter how annoying someone may be, that is who they are. Annoyances are just that....annoyances. Little quirks that make a person who they are. You don't fall in love with someone because of their looks or their personality. Those are just SOME of the reasons you fall in love. But if you were to think about it, how would you feel if one day you woke up and the person who annoyed the crap out of you for almost a decade was gone? Those annoying habits they did were gone?
Do not take things people do for granted. Appreciate all the little...or big things they do and thank them for everything they do...even annoying you...because when they are gone, you too will see all that I have been seeing and you will miss that person like crazy and get upset at whoever they are now with because you will feel only YOU should be the one to be annoyed by them.
No matter what you do, you cannot change a person. You can only change who you are.