Friday, March 9, 2012

Forget About It

The cursor is blinking at me. Is it blinking or winking? Telling me to type something or telling me that I already know what I want to type but just having a hard time finding the right words?? Songs and quotes fill my head this windy yet chilly afternoon along with a head cold and sinus infection.

But I can’t be whole,
'til I let all this anger go,
The silent strain I’ve carried long enough.

And I can’t be with you,
I don’t even want to,
I just wish your ghosts were gone,
Cause I’m ready to love,
I’ve been guarded long enough.

For years, I have dealt with pain in many relationships. My high school sweetheart, who at the time I thought I would marry and grow old with, left me for his ex girlfriend and ended up marrying her. They are now divorced but inside, I still carry that hurt and that pain. Now that I am divorced, I still can't bring myself to forgive nor forget how it all went down. They say forgiving is easier than forgetting but to be honest neither of them are easy. I guess I just need to forgive myself for putting myself in those situations and move on before even thinking about forgiving them for hurting me.

But don't you remember? Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby, please remember me once more.

Why can't real love be similar to that in movies? The man realizes he loves the woman and waits until she is leaving town or has left to go chasing after her. He leaves her in tears at his speech of how much in love with her he is and how he can't live one more second without her even though at times she gets under his skin and sometimes annoys the hell out of him. Yet, the way she squishes her nose at the smell of the rain is cute and he adores that. The way she says something yet is confused by what she just says makes him laugh and he loves her sense of humor. That would make love and relationships all too easy, huh?!

Even though it is fiction and the fantasy of the writer, this is what true love is. No age, religion, ethnicity, etc is an issue. Just the bond they share between them! That is true love and to have something like that is healing, strong, everlasting, spiritual and romantic.

Yet again, my cursor blinks at me. Blinking or winking? Blinking because I have come to the end of this blog as I have nothing more to write or winking because it knows I have more to write yet just can't find the write words to put down on this screen?

In the end, they all say time heals and makes things easier. I am trying to surround myself with people that make me laugh, people that make me think and people that make me forget the past and look more towards the future. I am lucky to have such people in my life and I am not sure where I would be in life now if it weren't for them.

Life may not be going accordingly right at this moment but I think about how unhappy I was for 8 years and how happy I am now that I am not in that situation any longer.

It may seem as the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget about the guy who forgot about you. -The Notebook


Chris said...

Hi Teresa, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris

mccart said...

i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay