That wasn't what I got out of my relationship. I got a simple "when you finally get over me, you won't care how many girls I am around or what girls I am hanging out with!" Wow, talk about harsh.
A woman can handle many things, but the one thing she won’t deal with is her time being wasted. I think after a few days and being around my ex husband a few more times with his girlfriend and girl friends, I have realized that is all I ever did. Waste my time....waste it with him. After realizing that I don't think he ever truly appreciated me and all I did for him, I became numb. Not that tingly just-hit-funny bone numb or foot-is-asleep numb because then at least I would feel something. I feel nothing. Hatred---I wish! I have so much I could hate him for but I don't. Angry---not anymore. Why be angry over something I can't fix? Annoyed---a tad only because of his immaturity lately as well as disrespect. Hurt---not anymore. At least I don't think so. I think he hurt me for so long and hurt me so bad that I no longer feel hurt. I also believe, because of the hurt I have been through, I have built a wall so high around my heart so it won't get broken again. I am trying to put it back together. It is like a house of cards. You get the base built and someone bumps the table or a breeze comes by and knocks it down; I don't want that to happen to my heart.
So, I ask, is this what closure feels like? No longer having any emotion or feeling tied to the one that left you and broke your heart?
I am trying to move on and live my life like it never happened but in all honesty, I can't get the past 8 years back. I just have to make up for them, and it all starts with this:
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