Monday, February 13, 2012

Why Hide The Truth?

Lies. Everyone lies. We are all human. We make that mistake. Sometimes we lie so we don't hurt someone we care or love about deeply. Other times we lie so we don't get caught or get in trouble. Which are you? Both? It is okay if you are both because, again, we are all human. I can admit to my lies and my mistakes and in my marriage, there were several lies and several mistakes. It is a marriage! I was also lied to many times and still to this day I am being lied to.
The marriage is over. The divorce is final. Why lie? Why hide the truth?
I am told by my ex-husband (that will take a while to remember to type out because he was my husband for 6 years), "I do not have to explain myself to you nor do I need to inform you of my love life." I am not asking him to explain himself nor tell me about his love life. The thing is, when one person tells the other they are not in love with them and haven't been for a while. As well as "I will not date anyone for at least a year after the divorce" and "I will never in my life get married ever again." and is dating someone at least one month before the divorce is final...they have seemed to move on pretty quickly. Therefore sending me a message that he was never in love with me and has no problem moving on. 
To me, that hurts. That should hurt anyone. You were with the person for 8 years (ALMOST a decade) of your life and they turn around and move to the next before everything is finalized or over between you two. 
I have been asked by many lately "are you still in love with him?" To be honest (since that is what the blog post is about), no I am not. I still love him because I loved him for 8 years. I still care about what happens to him because that is just low and immature to say "oh well, we are no longer together, hope you get run over by a bus". Now give it, those words may run through my mind occasionally but I would not know what to do if something happened to my son's father. I am not in love with him though. I cannot be in love with someone who will not be up front and honest with me. When I ask a question, all I am asking for is a simple answer --- THE TRUTH. No, the truth isn't always an easy thing to say especially if you don't want to hurt the person's feelings or do not want to be "in trouble" with the person. BUT, it is a weight lifted off your shoulders when you do tell the truth.
My ex-husband gets irritated/annoyed when I call or email him and I am not say the least being a bitch. Well, that happened last night because I got a phone call and a voice mail that changed my mind set about a lot of things. I wanted to talk to him about it. He sent me a text this morning asking if I "was better". What the heck does that mean? No, I am not sick. No, I am not dying. No, I do not have cancer. So, how am I better? I asked and he said "well I was just seeing if you were okay. You were really upset last night." And dear ex husband of mine, do you know the reason I was upset? "Because of the lies," he stated. BINGO!!! Right on the nose. I straight up told him, if he were to be honest with me then I would not be upset nor would I be calling him bitching about stuff.
We are no longer married. Why hide anything? Why lie? It makes no sense....not just to me but to others who know the situation or are involved in the situation as well. 
So, the point of this is, the truth is not always easy to come out with but in the end, it will make you feel better as well as make the other happy that you are no longer lying to them. 

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